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The Bevis Society

For lo, these many years I have been laboring under the misapprehension that my forebears came to this country on ye goode shippe Mayflower. Alas! I am disapprehended. In doing more in-depth research, I have uncovered the true facts of the matter. In reading the book "Fullers, Sissons and Scotts, Our Yeoman Ancestors" by Carol Clark Johnson, published I-don't-know-when, I have discovered that my ancestors never set foot on the Mayflower - except, perhaps in the unlikely event they were seeing their kin off on their famous/notorious voyage to the (semi-)new world.

The fact of the matter, according to Ms. Johnson, is this: My FULLER - to whit, Robert - was (perhaps) brother to Sam and Ed, who actually did come over on the - well, that ship. Bobby, however, was a bit reluctant - or, maybe he had to tend to the livestock, who knows? At any rate, he procrastinated and procrastinated, and finally  after 16 years finally made his way over here from Hampton, England to Hingham, Massachusetts. The ship of his unfortunate choice was named nothing like the May-whatever, but a bit more appropriately, the somewhat-trepid Bevis. (I am so glad that he didn't wait for the next ship.)

Ms. Johnson informs us that young Bob was a bricklayer and may have completed his apprenticeship before coming to America - at least that's his excuse. He also farmed. Big deal. Who didn't?

My point is this: My great-grandmother is alleged by long and honored family tradition to have been a member of the May-thing Society. Now, I have unearthed documented quasi-proof that her alleged claim is - uh - inaccurate, shall we say? Now, having unmasked my great-grandmother's alleged fraud, what is to be done? It is unlikely that we can dig her up and put her in jail. Her cellmates would undoubtedly instigate a class-action against us. So, how can I disenfranchise her from the M-flower Society, where she obviously does not belong?

My modest (to say nothing of brilliant) solution is this: I hereby and by publication of this web document found the Bevis Society and nominate myself Grand President or whatever. At last, I can breathe free. The truth is out. No longer am I a usurper of the title "May-etc." descendant. We can be just as proud of our ancient ancestry, and at least twice as snooty. If there are any others of you out there whose relatives were also procrastinators and may have come to these shores on that brave (or otherwise) vessel, please get in touch with me and let us band together, as did our brave, albeit timid, kin in the early days of America's history.

To become an official member of the soon-to-be-esteemed Bevis Society, please send a check to me at:

P.O. Box 667
Wyoming, RI 02898

You do not have to fill out the recipient or the amount. The Bevis Society will take care of all that silly nonsense for you. If our ancestors could put their lives in each other's hands to cross the treacherous seas for months on end in beloved and trusting comradeship, then you certainly can trust me. After all, we are kin-folk. Have I ever lied to you before - that you know of? That you can prove in court? I look forward to hearing from you. Really.

PS: In further researching this matter, I have learned that the ship Bevis may actually have been the scout ship for - that other ship. You know the one. Apparently the Bevis took a wrong turn somewhere, hence her 16-year delay in arriving at her destination. I believe further that the show "Gilligan's Island" may have been based on her adventures. I have to admit, it does sound better than "Bevis's Island." C'mon, now - admit it.