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The purpose of this page is to remind us to have a sense of humor when raising our kids, by remembering our childhood and what it was like to be a kid ourselves. It is full of all the phrases your parents said to you when you were growing up that you *swore* you would never say to your children. Yeah, right! And all the positive phrases you heard, too! Hope you enjoy reading them, as much as we enjoy posting them. Please e-mail us with any you remember as a child. We would love to add them!

1. If I told you once, I told you a thousand times....
2. Do you think money just grows on trees?
3. Do I look like I am made of money?
4. I'm cold. I think you had better go put on your jacket.
5. Be careful and don't fall out of that tree! I don't want you to break your neck. (Notice how all injuries are life-threatening?)
6. Kid: But Tommy told me to. Parent: If Tommy told you to jump off a cliff (bridge), would you?
7. Be careful with that stick! I don't want you to poke your eye out. (Notice again that the injury is always severe?)
8. I hope one day you have children just like you!
9. Don't do as I do. Do as I say.
10. When I was your age.....
11. Some day your face is going to freeze like that!
12. Eat your vegetables. There are starving people in China (pick your country) who would be happy to have them.
13. I don't care what Billy's mother lets him do. We don't do that!
14. As long as you live under my roof, you will follow my rules.
15. What were you thinking? Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to you!
16. I could just shake you until you rattle!
17. You would lose your head if it wasn't screwed on.
18. I didn't ask you. I told you.
19. Close the door. Were you raised in a barn?
20. I am not your maid. Pick up your stuff.
21. What's the magic word?
22. Don't talk with your mouth full.
23. That is not how I raised you.
24. Who told you you could do that?
25. Where have you been? Living under a rock?
26. There's no time like the present.
27. You are never too young (old) to learn.
28. Are your ears (hands, legs, arms, etc.) broken?
29. What did I just say?
30. All I ask is that you just do your best. Does it hurt to try?
31. Have you heard a word I just said?
32. I feel like I am talking to a wall.
33. Just wait until your dad gets home and hears what you have done.
34. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again.
35. There is no use crying over spilled milk. What's done, is done.
36. I think we have talked about this until I'm blue in the face.
37. Listen the first time. I don't want to keep repeating myself.
38. Why don't you go outside and play? And try not to kill each other!
39. Because I said so, that's why.
40. Could you sit still for one minute, please?
41. Would you hold your horses?
42. Kid: That's not fair! Parent: Who ever said life was fair?
43. Who died and made you king?
44. Do you think the whole world revolves around you?
45. We are not taking a vote. This is not a democracy. This is a dictatorship.
46. When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it.
47. I expect more from you than that.
48. What does "No" mean?
49. You are grounded for life!
50. You constantly amaze me....
51. You can't learn any younger.
52. Who are you trying to kid? I was a kid once too, you know?
53. That's a good story. Would you like to try telling me the truth now?
54. Keep laughing, and I will give you something to cry about.
55. I remember when you were only *this* big.
56. There is more to driving than steering the car.
57. Don't say I didn't warn you!
58. If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all.
59. Just be yourself.
60. You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time.
61. What goes around, comes around.
62. You get what you give in this life.
63. No, we aren't there yet.
64. You've waited this long....can't you just wait another minute?
65. Aren't you making a mountain out of a mole hill?
66. What did you think was going to happen?
67. If you are going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning the house.
68. You had better pray that the stuff you spilled will come out of the carpet.
69. Make sure you wear clean underwear. You never know when you might be in an accident and be taken to the hospital.
70. Do you think that whining will make me change my mind?
71. Shut your mouth, and eat your supper.
72. Look at the back of your neck. It's filthy.
73. Your room looks like it was hit by a tornado.
74. Go! You might meet somebody!
75. You're old enough to know better.
76. Some day you are going to wish you had listened to me!
77. If you don't have enough to share, don't bring it out in front of everybody.
78. If mama ain't happy....ain't no one happy.
79. Don't make me come in there!
80. You're not going to like it, if I have to come back there.
81. Wait til I get you home!
83. Turn off the lights. Who do you think we are, the Edisons?
84. I love you a bushel and a peck.
85. There is only one you.
86. Just wait....you're next.
87. Don't roll your eyes at me.
88. Go ask your father.
89. If you don't stop fighting, we're going home.
90. Now, fight nice. You're related.
91. Don't hit your brother. He's the only one you've got. (So if I had two brothers, it would be OK?)
92. This hurts me more than it hurts you.
93. Some day you'll thank me.
94. Build bridges; don't burn them.
95. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. (Why did we want to catch the flies in the first place?)
96. You can't make me stop loving you so stop trying so hard!
97. I brought you into this world and I can take you out.
98. Two wrongs don't make a right.
99. Do you want a spanking (whipping)?
100. You're not the cop in this family.
101. Some day you are going to wish you had listened to me!
102. What do you think this is....a restaurant?
103. What do you think this is....Christmas?
104. What do you think this is....your birthday?
105. If you stick your nose any higher up in the air, you'll drown when it rains.
106. Don't let them get you down.
107. MOM doesn't stand for Made Of Money.
108. If you do that, I will be all over you like white on rice.
109. Keep a stiff upper lip.
110. Hang in there. You can do it.
111. I'm going to skin you alive.
112. Some days you're top dog, and some days you're the fire hydrant.
113. Is this the day we become a spanking family?
114. Be good, but if you can't be good, be careful!
115. If you don't stop that, I'll knock you into the next zip code.
116. Don't talk to me, when I'm not listening to you.
117. Let me kiss it and make it better.
118. There! It's all clean, and this time, it's going to stay that way! (One could only wish!)
119. Would you like a little cheese with that whine?
120. You are going to eat me out of house and home.
121. You make a better door than you do a window.
122. You call that acceptable?
123. Sit up straight.
124. Don't walk away from me when I am talking to you.
125. Don't play with your food.
126. A little soap and water never killed anybody.
127. Are you going out dressed like that?
128. Where's your jacket?
129. Do you live to annoy me?
130. Don't put that in your mouth. You don't know where it's been.
131. Don't use that tone with me, mister.
132. Just who do you think you are?
133. Don't you have anything better to do?
134. Go to your room and think about what you did!
135. I don't care who started it. Just stop!
136. I never would have talked to my mother like that.
137. I will treat you like an adult, when you start acting like one.
138. I am going to give you to the count of three.
139. I have had it up to here with you.
140. Look at your room. It's a pigsty.
141. Watch your mouth!
142. You had better wipe that smile off your face, before I do it for you.
143. You will eat and you will like it.
144. You will always be my baby.
145. You have any answer for everything, don't you?
146. You can't start the day on an empty stomach.
147. When you have your own house, then you can make the rules.
148. How do you know you don't like it, if you haven't tried it?
149. Why do I bother when you never appreciate it?
150. "Hey" is for horses.
151. Stop running in the house.
152. I slaved for hours over a hot stove and this is the thanks I get?
153. Whatever doesn't kill you will just make you stronger.
154. It's always fun until someone gets hurt.
155. I didn't ask who put it there, I said pick it up.
156. If it were a snake, it would have bitten you.
157. If you are too sick to go to school, you are too sick to play outside.
158. Isn't it past your bedtime?
159. It isn't that I don't trust you, it's that I don't trust everyone else.
160. Look at me when I am talking to you.
161. Over my dead body! (That can be arranged.)
162. Pick that up before someone trips on it and breaks their neck.
163. Turn that racket down.
164. I can't take you two anywhere.
165. You'll never live to see sixteen.
166. You are treading on thin ice, mister.
167. Stop splitting hairs.
168. You're kidding, right?
169. You're on my list.
170. Do it again and you're history!
171. There's a sentence in there somewhere. Just look for it.
172. I think something was lost in the translation.
173. Your room is a disaster area. (No, you don't qualify for Federal funding).
174. Do you have a death wish?
175. How long would you like to live?
176. If you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me for help.
177. Act your age.
178. "I don't know" is not an answer.
179. Do you want a time out?
180. I'm so mad, I could just spit.
181. I'm supposed to be mean. That's my job.
182. Is that a threat or a promise?
183. I could only be so lucky.
184. This, too, shall pass.
185. Talking to you is like pulling teeth.
186. You are not your brother's keeper.
187. You want to take me on?
188. Give it your best shot.
189. You never cease to amaze me.
190. In the big scheme of things, it's not that big of a deal.
191. Don't sweat the small stuff.
192. You will do as you are told!
193. It is not an option. There is no discussion.
194. Nobody is going to fight your battles for you.
195. Sometimes, you just have to draw your line in the sand.
196. And I've got some swamp land in Florida to sell you . . . .
197. You are inebriated with the exuberance of your own verbosity.
198. Do you have to do that every waking moment of every day?
199. If you can make a good case for it, I will consider it.
200. We'll see. I am not making any promises.
201. I have forgotten more than you have even learned.
202. This isn't rocket science.
203. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
204. I wouldn't trade you for all the tea in China.
205. We are so lucky to have you!
206. What did we ever do to deserve you? We are so blessed.
207. You are kidding me, right? Am I on Candid Camera?
208. Put your shoes on Lucy; don't you know you're in the city?
209. Hurry! Quick like a bunny!
210. Let's get this show on the road!
211. One for the money! Two for the show! Three to get ready! And four to go!
212. A job worth doing is worth doing well.
213. Neither a borrower nor a lender be.
214. You can do anything you set your mind to do.
215. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
216. Don't count your chickens before they hatch!
217. Count your blessings!
218. Honesty is the best policy.
219. You are what you eat.
220. Mind your P's and Q's.
221. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
222. When in doubt, throw it out.
223. It's the thought that counts.
224. You slop through it; you redo it.
225. Yes, I nag. I prompt, remind, and encourage our kids to fulfill their responsibilities.
226. Could you keep it to a dull roar?
227. Where there is a will, there's a way.
228. Your eyes are bigger than your stomach.



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http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~volker
Created:  12 Oct 2001
Modified:  4 Oct 2013
Copyright © 2001-2013, Jennifer Volker



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