A Granddaughter's Letter to The Grandmother She Never Knew
"Treasure added 10 May 1999"
It was my first Christmas on my own. Money was tight but I
wanted to do something special for Mom. So, I wrote a letter to her mom,
the grandmother I never knew. I'm sure Mom cried when she read it (I know
she'll cry again when she sees it here) and I can almost guarantee the original
sits in that special box all Moms have -- Box? What box? Come on, you know
the BOX! Some are covered in ancient macaroni; some are covered in colorful
construction paper; some bear childish scribblings but no matter what it
started life as, that box is there, hiding in some dark closet. It's the
box that holds all the things her children have ever given her from homemade
cards to ridiculous little trinkets. The box she drags out when she's feeling
a little melancholy. The box she opens when her kids leave home. The box
she shares with her grandchildren to prove THEIR parents were indeed children
once. The box that holds treasures more precious than anything in the
world.
December 1990
Dearest Grandma:
You've been gone for 42 years and I feel cheated I never knew you. I can only imagine how Mom feels, growing up with her grandparents, aunt and uncles instead of her mother and father. However, if you would have lived, I might not be here. Definitely a no-win situation. Recently, Mom found what I'm guessing is a book of poetry I think you wrote. As I read them, I got the feeling I could have written them myself. I felt like you were talking to me through those long-ago written words and, for the first time in my life, I felt a bond to you. It's like the pain and humiliation you had suffered, I too have suffered and, in your own very special way, you were comforting me. If you didn't write those powerful verses, then they are poems which meant something to you and now mean something to me. It's the only tie, other than Mom, I have to you.
Grandpa passed away in 1986 and, hopefully, you and he are reunited now in that place of eternal serenity that I can only hope to reach someday. I pray the differences the two of you had in this world are now solved and finally laid to rest. It’s also my hope your parents are with you, too. It must have been tough for them to lose their daughter at such a young age but a friendly and much-loved face greeted them when they left us. Our loss was most certainly your gain.
From all I've heard about you, and unfortunately it isn't much, you and Mom are carbon copies--caring, gentle, compassionate, determined--the qualities and virtues I think have been passed down to me. It's scary my sister and I look so much like the two of you and as long as we, or our descendants, are around, so shall you and Mom.
I'm writing because I want you to know Mom is not only a beautiful person outside but an even more beautiful person inside and I think you would be very proud of her and all she has accomplished so far. She has a loving husband and six wonderful children, who think the world of her. And, despite some rough times, she has maintained her family like no other woman I know. Her children are a testament to her strong spirit and firm hand, whose undying foundation of love and understanding keeps them together if not physically, then emotionally and mentally. Her children are also a testament to you for you began the cycle in 1944 by giving birth to her.
There was much opposition to her marriage in 1964 but love was a bond attitudes and opinions couldn't break. Although it took years, your mother finally accepted Dad as her grandson-in-law instead of "the man my granddaughter married." Your husband was quite a handful at times but I'm sure you know that. The relationship between father and son-in-law was strained at times but I think a happy medium was reached and Grandpa passed away with no regrets or should-have-beens.
Mom and Dad's love for each other and their children is the stuff dreams are made of, for in today's society their kind of love is nonexistent. They are proof positive love can conquer all, no matter how many setbacks or how little money or how many curveballs are thrown.
I sincerely want to thank you for giving me Mom, who in turn gave me Dad, who in turn gave me my brothers and sister. Although we are, at times, a bit odd, I am blessed with a warm and loving family, a family to be proud of, a family I'm lucky to have.
With much love and admiration, I am
Your granddaughter,
