Victoria's house
Sketches by Eddie's wife, Diane ca 1978
St. Mary's Catholic Church, Reliance,
Victoria Clementina STALLMAN was the second child born to Clemens Anton
and Anna Mary (SCHELLE) STALLAMN. Born Jan. 27, 1903, at Iona,
MN. The family farmed in the
area until moving to SE of Reliance, Lyman Co., SD in the spring of 1910; I believe
it was in March. She attended Cooper School south of the family farm and also attended
school in White Lake (1914-15) when the family moved off the farm for a few years to
follow Grandpa around as he sold his Rawleigh Products.
She left school after the seventh grade to help her mother with the rest of the family
which had grown to include 8 children. She did not leave for Iowa or Minnesota to get a
life as did the rest of her brothers and sisters as she was the oldest daughter and
therefore, the "mother's helper," which was the normal way of life at that time.
It probably still is to some extent, but (and I think it started being so in the 1960s) we
also have day cares, full-time babysitters, grandmas and grandpas to help raise them
babies.
She worked out to help supplement the family income. Times were very, very tough and
money, water, fuel and food was hard to come by. Everyone who was big enough, worked out to
bring money in for the family. When she was 17 years old, she worked at the hotel in
Oacoma (Gene Harmon residence 1996, torn down 2007 by Ed Speck and Gene, both 70). She told me Grandpa would be there on payday to get
her check; she never saw it. While she was working there, she turned 18. Frank knew that
Grandpa was getting her money, so he went in to talk to her and told her not to let
Grandpa have her money anymore...she was 18 now, and she didn't have too. She told this to
her boss, Mrs. Wetterer. When Grandpa came after her check, Mrs. Wetterer met him at the
door and ran him off...without Victoria's check! But, Victoria tells me, she was lonesome
for home and worried about "Ma." Knowing how hard times were and being the good
daughter she was taught to be (in the strict German home,) she returned to the farm.
Victoria did, however, build up a business of her own where she cleaned houses,
wallpapered, painted, babysat, even walked to town to wash Florence Anderson's hair! She
would spend the night with her friends, the Andersons, and walk home the next day. She
always spoke of Don and Josephine Hamiel, who, in her books, were the nicest people in the
world, and always paid for her time coming and going...not just from the time she was at
the house and when she left. I have a record book of hers where she kept a record of every
PENNY she earned, what from, how much she spent, what for...it's all there, documented. In
her later years as she received Supplemental Security Income (SSI) she has it all written
down, the amount, date and check number.
As we used to drive around the countryside in the '80s she would see a house and tell me
the square footage, the number of rolls of wallpaper it took to paper the place, that sort
of thing. She wasn't one to use a tape measurer, either...she "eyeballed" her
work.
Victoria never married, but she helped raise a dozen children...first her brothers and
sisters and then Albert's five were put into her custody. Oh, she was a mean, hateful
person back then. We older three girls were absolutely terrified of her. Looking back and
thinking about her life, I would be mean too, if I had to give up my life to take care of
other people's children, let alone one of my sibling's children. She was so very strict,
to the point of being scary. There was no laughter or joy, let alone love, in that house.
It was like Grandma Stallman, Victoria and Paul were doomed to share the same house.
Frances and I eventually ran away from the farm. Peggy stayed a couple of years until she
was hired out as a "housekeeper/babysitter" somewhere around her 11th year, to a
family in Chamberlain. Sandy and Eddie grew up on the farm with Victoria as their mother.
Victoria eventually saved enough money to buy a car. It was a 1950-51 Chevrolet sedan. She
bought it from a dealer in Iowa. I never did understand this, but according to her diary,
She paid for the car, then Grandma Stallman and Uncle Paul went to Iowa to get it. How did
they go to Iowa? I never thought of that. Probably on the bus. In any event, she tells
that they went to Iowa to get her car and she walked to town to do some work for someone.
A few days later, she says that her car finally got there. Two-three days later, she
writes that she has walked to town to wash Florence Anderson's hair, spent the night and
walked back home. Where was her car? It was a two-toned green car and smelled like
turpentine...the smell of her trade. She was working in homes from Chamberlain to Kennebec
and beyond, I'm sure.
Grandma Stallman passed away in 1959, while we were living in Colorado. We went home for
the funeral and when we walked into the house, everything was different. Things were moved
around, people were laughing and coming and going (not a lot, but anything was an
improvement over the gloom and doom of yore.) And I certainly mean no disrespect, but
Victoria looked like "free at last, free at last, thank God almighty I'm free at
last." One more thing I want to say about the Stallman family...there was no love
there whatsoever. When family would come from Iowa, Minnesota, or wherever, as they came
into the kitchen, one by one they would shake each other's hand and acknowledge that they
knew who was who. No hugs, no happy to see you. All children were sent outside until
mealtime and most talking was done in huddles, quietly. Children are to be seen and not
heard and have no business listening in on adult conversations.
After Grandma's passing, Victoria and Paul were allowed to live on the farm for one year
to get all affairs taken care of and sell the crops, etc. What money wasn't given to St.
Mary's Catholic Church was divided equally among all ten children...something a little
over $1,000 each, according to the settlement papers.
Victoria and Paul each bought a house in Reliance and Victoria continued to care for Eddie
and Sandy. I have heard the stories of no money and no food on many occasions. There were
times when Victoria would send one of the kids up to Hank's market for three slices of bread
and three hot dogs. Where was Albert? Where was Aid to Dependent Children? Maybe it was
before she got on ADC, I don't know. I only know that all three of them tell the same
story. I remember asking my mother one time if she thought we (Ed and I) should send some
money to Victoria to help with the kids and she told me not to be ridiculous ... "that
woman has money, don't let her kid you." Since our money was so tight, I was willing
to accept that readily. One time I asked Victoria if Daddy ever gave her any money to help
with the kids and she just said, "He would have if I would have asked."
Translated..."No."
After Albert died, Ed and I took Sandy home to New Mexico with us. She was 15 years old.
Eddie stayed another year or two, then he, too came to New Mexico to be with the rest of
us. How that must have hurt Victoria. After her "kids" married and had families
of their own, they returned to her, bringing her grandchildren with them and they all
loved her and her life was good. They hugged her and she hugged them back. They called her
"Grandma" and she beamed. She didn't have much, needed less, continued to wear
the same clothes she had been wearing since ot 6, canned every extra tomato or potato
anyone ever gave her ... when someone brought her something from the garden she would eat
some (moderately, I'm sure,) then can the rest before it could spoil. She continued to use
the bottled gas O'Keefe and Merit range and bottle gas refrigerator Grandma Stallman
bought in 1947 after her mother passed away and left them a few dollars.
She had a wonderful collection of old hats; some homemade, both men's and
women's, that have
been divided among my daughter Sindi and Frances' daughter Vicki. She lived by the old
adage "Use it up, wear it out; make it last or do without."
Sandy and her husband Jerry Robinson and their children spent one month camped in
Vistoria's back yard. During that time, they installed a bathroom in her house. She was
about 70 years old and had never had running water that she didn't have to run after. Not
wanting to get too much, or more than she deserved, she would allow them to run it into
her kitchen, water was kept to the bathroom and the hot water heater wasn't a real good
one because there was no need in getting one too good, she probably wasn't going to live a
lot longer anyway! Later, she got her new kitchen cupboards and water to the kitchen. I
can't remember how that came about.
We moved back to South Dakota in 1978 and it was then that we started to learn about Aunt
Victoria. What a wonderful lady she was! After all she had been through, she came though
it with this uncanny dry sense of humor that we now recognize as Stallman humor. I suppose
they weren't allowed, as children, to be too happy and giggly, so they learned to be funny
without laughter. She liked Mogen David wine. She enjoyed a cool beer now and then. I
started carrying "fun foods" to her, but had to stop because she worried that
"they" would find out and take away her food stamps. I asked how much she was
getting and when she said $12, I offered to give her the 12 and to hell with them, but she
wouldn't give up on a "sure thing." We started perming her hair on a regular
basis...at a beauty shop no less! Once, we bought her three or four new dresses on the
same day! She couldn't believe it.
Victoria, ever faithful to her church, was president of St. Mary's Altar Society in
Reliance for 38 years and was honorary president until her death.
In January, 1983, Victoria celebrated her 80th birthday at an open house at Mary
Ann(STALLMAN) Rogers' home, hosted by Mary Ann and myself. It was a wonderful day, her
Catholic and Protestant friends were there, she received greetings from President Ronald
Reagan and she felt as special as she was.
Victoria discovered a lump on her right breast in May of 1983. A radical mastectomy was
performed in June. Sandy and Eddie came up to be with her and she came through with flying
colors. Her only other hospitalization in her 80 years had been in 1940, when she had her
tonsils removed at Chamberlain. She also suffered with arthritis (check out some of the
Stallman hands, you'll see her crooked fingers) and high blood pressure. And gout. She
never complained, always taking what was handed to her with the "what will be, will
be" attitude. What had to be done, had to be done, no need in fretting about it.
She had a stroke in February of 1984, and was admitted to the Aurora-Brule Nursing Home at
White Lake. A retired priest was also a resident there, so she got to attend Mass every
day. She was admitted to Sunset Valley Nursing Haven in Chamberlain in the fall of 1984,
and her breast cancer continued to worsen and she was moved to Mom and Dad's Nursing Home
in Sioux Falls so she could have radiation treatment. No one had bothered to
mention that since she
could not lift her right arm she would not be able to take the therapy. She had given up
her room in Chamberlain and had to wait until another opening came up so she could go back
there. She passed away very quietly with a nurse by her side on Thanksgiving Day, 1985. I
visited her on a regular basis and she was blessed to have her niece Hilda STALLMAN Berreau living in Sioux
Falls and she visited Victoria faithfully. She had gone
to visit Victoria that day only to learn that she had just passed away.
Her body was laid to rest in a beautiful coffin that was barely tinted green with avocado
green antiquing and an interior of white satin coffin with pink roses (just as she
said she wanted),
in St. Mary's Cemetery north of Reliance, alongside her parents and brothers Albert, Paul
and Raymond. Her soul soars with the angels. She has earned her place in
heaven many, many times over.
Victoria Stallman
funeral services Tuesday, Reliance
Funeral service for Victoria
Clementina Stallman, 82, Reliance, were held at 10:30 a.m., Tuesday, Dec. 3,
1985, at St. Mary's Catholic church in Reliance, with the Rev. Michael Hight
officiating. Burial was in St. Mary's Catholic Cemetery. She died Friday in Mom
and Dad's Nursing Home, Sioux Falls.
Victoria was born Jan. 27, 1903, to
Clem and Anna (Schelle) Stallman at Iona, MN. She came to Lyman county with her
family in 1910 and lived on their farm three miles southeast of Reliance. She
attended Cooper School and White Lake School. Miss Stallman did housework,
painting and wallpapering in Brule and Lyman counties.
Victoria was President of St. Mary's
Catholic Church and Altar Society for 38 years.
She lived in Reliance until Feb.,
1984, when she moved to the Aurora-Brule Nursing Home in White Lake. In the fall
of 1984, she moved to Sunset Valley Haven and moved into Mom and Dad's Nursing
Home in Sioux Falls two months ago.
Survivors include a brother, Henry of
Reliance; three sisters: Marie Hatting, Ashton, Iowa, Leona Voss, Fulda MN., and
Frances Nanneman, Marceliine, MO.
She was preceded in death by her
parents and five brothers.
Wevik Funeral Home, Chamberlain,
was in charge of arrangements.
Frances, Marie?, Victoria,
Leona?
Victoria, ?, Marie? (Looks
like JoAnn Groth!)
Knives bought in 1920 and
1921. Victoria never used hers because "Ma's isn't worn out yet". !
ca 1983. Barbara will donate them to the Lyman County Museum at Presho, SD
Eddie, Victoria and Sandy
ca 1966
Standing, l-r:
Herman and Marie, Lawrence and Frances, Joe and Leona, Henry and Vi.
Seated: Victoria, Ida and Lawrence
