Search billions of records on Ancestry.com
   

GENEALOGICAL HUMOUR

HOW MANY GENEALOGICAL MAILING LIST MEMBERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

One to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
Fourteen to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
Seven to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
Seven more to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
Five to flame the spell checkers.
Three to correct spelling/grammar flames.
Six to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another six to condemn those six as stupid.
Fifteen to claim experience in the lighting industry and give the correct spelling.
Nineteen to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb (or light bulb) forum.
Eleven to defend the posting to the group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this group.
Thirty six to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.
Seven to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
Four to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL.
Three to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.
Thirteen to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".
Five to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
Four to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
Thirteen to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
Three to tell a funny story about their cat and a light bulb.
AND
One group lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.


Top Ten Internet Abbreviations for Genealogists
with thanks to Chris Dunham from The Genealogue

10. AFAICTWDAR As far as I can tell without doing actual research
9. IYKWIM If you know what "inbreeding" means
8. AMOUFL As a matter of unfounded family legend
7. SCNRPYI Sorry, could not resist proving your illegitimacy
6. IMPGHO In my paternal grandmother's humble opinion
5. NIFOMR Naked in front of microfilm reader
4. TIABIDITTYA Thanks in advance because I don't intend to thank you afterwards
3. KMA Kiss my ahnentafel
2. ROFTBPR Rolling on the floor transcribing British parish registers
1. BTWYA By the way, you're adopted


NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS ~ FOR OUR ANCESTORS

It is New Year's Eve [whatever year, our ancestors dont change] and our faithful scribe sits at his desk by candlelight. He dips his quill pen in ink and begins to write his New Year's resolutions.

1. No man is truly well-educated unless he learns to spell his name at least three different ways within the same document. I resolve to give the appearance of being extremely well-educated in the coming year.

2. I resolve to see to it that all of my children will have the same names that my ancestors have used for six generations in a row.

3. My age is no one's business but my own. I hereby resolve to never list the same age or birth year twice on any document.

4. I resolve to have each of my children baptized in a different church -- either in a different faith or in a different parish. Every third child will not be baptized at all or will be baptized by an itinerant minister who keeps no records.

5. I resolve to move to a new town, new county, or new state at least once every 10 years -- just before those pesky enumerators come around asking silly questions.

6. I will make every attempt to reside in counties and towns where no vital records are maintained or where the courthouse burns down every few years.

7. I resolve to join an obscure religious cult that does not believe in record keeping or in participating in military service.

8. When the tax collector comes to my door, I'll loan him my pen, which has been dipped in rapidly fading blue ink.

9. I resolve that if my beloved wife Mary should die, I will marry another Mary.

10 I resolve not to make a will. Who needs to spend money on a lawyer?


Return To HOME

FAMILIES I AM RESEARCHING | MISCELLANEOUS GENEALOGICAL RESEARCH |NEW ZEALAND DISASTERS AND TRAGEDIES | NEW ZEALAND AND WORLD WAR ONE | NEW ZEALAND ROLLS OF HONOUR BY LOCATION | NEW ZEALAND ROLLS OF HONOUR BY CONFLICT | NEW ZEALAND ROLLS OF HONOUR MILITARY NURSES | PAKEHA/MAORI TRANSLITERATIONS |PASSENGER LISTS TO NEW ZEALAND | SHAND FAMILY HISTORY | SOUTH TARANAKI | SPONDON, DERBYSHIRE, ENGLAND | TE PUKE, BAY OF PLENTY, NEW ZEALAND | WANGANUI COLLEGIATE SCHOOL