THOMAS SMITH ROWE

By Wife: Wilma Rowe

Foreword by Lawrence A. Hyde

This book was apparently written in two parts. The first part appears to have been written in or around 1989. The concluding pages were written after Tom’s death in 1994 in response to family questions concerning his life. It is specifically addressed to Jack Rowe, Tom’s youngest brother.

This book was scanned by computer from the original document. My best effort was given to correct any OCR misinterpretations. No attempt was made to correct any grammatical mistakes other than a few minor spelling errors, desiring instead to preserve its original "flavor". Occasional parenthetical remarks are provided for clarity. Pagination was changed from its original format to allow for general word processing activities.

Tom was born in Fountain, Colorado, a little country town about 12 miles from Colorado Springs, Colorado, where his father worked in a lumber yard.

The day Tom was born they had to tunnel the snow from the house to the barn, the snow was that deep. Just to start things off with a "bang" he was born with the measles. Now they claim having measles during pregnancy is serious. Tom said, "You know, that's probably what's the matter with me." There's just no doubt about it!

Then they moved to the country on a farm about 3 miles from town. The school bus was a horse drawn hearse. Isn't that a kick? Starting out the way they would end up?

The horrible flu epidemic hit the U.S. after World War I. They hadn't had flu outbreaks before that. The Health Department wasn't prepared to handle that rapid growing epidemic. Spreading over the population suddenly, engrossed with nothing to equal its intensity. People were dying by the hundreds. When it hit their family, Tom's father was thrashing beans at his Uncle's about a mile away. His Mother was sedate (a very calm person) keeping an even pace about most things, but this was different, they were all coming down at once. She sent Tom to get his Dad, she needed help and she needed it badly, to do that. He was only three years old, but the only one she had to send. By the time he got there, he was coming down with it himself. His Dad didn't have anything to wrap him in but a gunny sack, so he bundled him up and carried him home. Country

people are survivors and better at facing emergencies sometimes than city folks, and can use home remedies city people never heard of. A large family is bound to have a lot of childrens diseases. One brings it home and it goes the rounds.

Next his Dad sold the farm and bought a house in town and started a dairy right across the street from the schoolhouse in Fountain. Naturally he had a lot of cows - that is where Tom learned to milk with a cup! They stayed there three years and it proved to be a big mistake, they should have stayed on the farm.

So he sold the cows and got a job taking care of the reservoir. It included a house too, so they stayed there another year.

They spent the Holidays with their Aunt and Uncle (Lovie Harriett and Isaac Toliver Smith). Thanksgiving at one and Christmas at the other. They had dinners you read about and see pictures of. Tom spent a lot of free time there. He said, "Maybe because he was their name sake - Smith". He had a lot of respect and spoke highly of them. The devotion sounded in his voice when he said "Auntie." That's where his Mother got Smith from and her maiden name was Thomas, so Tom got two family names. Toms Mother had 11 children and his Auntie Love didn't have any. They should have gotten together about the facts of life! She always called her husband, Mr. Smith, could it be because she was so prim and proper or because his name was Isaac? Maybe Tom liked to go there for the peace and quiet?

Tom was active and ambitious. He was also prone to mishaps and unfortunate accidents one after the other. He was riding on his horse one day, the horse's leg fell thru a culvert across the road and frightened the horse - it bolted and broke away from control and off of its set course. That knocked Tom off, but his foot caught in the stirrup and drug him a mile - both in drastic fright. Until the stirrup broke, it was an old saddle, or he would probably be going yet! No one could claim his identity, he was bleeding so ferociously and every inch of him was black and blue. The convalescing period to recovery took a while, both health and strength.

They moved back to Fountain for 2 or 3 months again.

On weekends farmer's always went to town to do their buying, chit chatting here and there, making a day of it. Tom and two other boys taking advantage of the farmer's absence, knew a place where they made dandelion wine. Tom on horseback, one boy on his bicycle, the other on the handle bars or the back of the horse - this was too good a chance to miss, so they swiped some wine. It didn't take all that much for the 12 year old boys...Tom tried to mount the same horse he had ridden there on, but somehow it had grown while they were drinking wine. The horse kept getting taller and taller. He finally managed to get on and stayed on, thankfully, until he got home and tried to dismount. The ground was no longer in it's usual place - it also got farther away. He was so sick, he threw up everything he had eaten for a week. Being so sick and practically at deaths door, he couldn't be punished, but he was being punished enough to never try that again.

When they lived on this hay farm, the boys loaded hay one day and got up at 4:00 a.m. the next morning and took it to Colorado Springs. The hay was not in bales, that was the trick of keeping the hay on the wagon so it wouldn't fall off. Pretty good fete (sic) for a 12 year old. As they entered Colorado Springs they had the load weighed, got a ticket punched, and on the way out they got the empty wagon weighed, that indicated how much to bill the dairy for.

Another place they had a pond where they lived. When it froze over they had skating parties, some times a few and other times the whole class - they served hot dogs and coffee.

At that point in time he started to High School. His main interest was basketball, he didn't have much time for activities or social affairs. The cow's had to be milked -before breakfast! Then after breakfast a mad dash for the bus. After school, milking again, supper, homework and to bed.

There was no such thing as a private room with a large family - - - 2 or 3 sometimes more sharing the room.

Tom helped "Old Doc" in his country store Saturday nights as a soda jerk. He did a little serving or anything that needed done. When the Doc had to travel a long distance to a remote area for an emergency or to deliver a baby, Tom would ride along for company, not an assistant, he waited in the car.

The people that came from Kansas were called "squash bellies", I have no idea why, maybe they raised squash! The people on the other side were called "bean bellies", but they did raise beans. By dry farming, without irrigation - just depending on the rain, if it didn't rain they were hurting. They had dances in the bean company - real "hoe-downs"! A car load of boy's from Fountain would drive out there, partake in the festivities (not so much to dance). They always ended up in a brawl, broke up the dance and sent the boys flying. They knew that, before they went…… "Country Boys" made their own fun!

He stayed out of school a year because he was needed on the farm, then he went back and finished High School. I can't help but wonder how many of the others did that too, without asking?

His closest friend was Charles, they were both involved in basketball. Charle’s family moved to Denver, 90 miles away, so Charles stayed with friends and finished school in Fountain. After graduation he lived in Denver with his folks until he joined the Navy, that's when they lost contact with each other.

Tom was on an emotional roller-coaster, wanting to travel. His transportation had graduated from hitch-hiking to riding the rails and sleeping in box cars. He went up north to Idaho during harvest and worked in the fields doing anything he could find to do.

Then he went South and spent a year with his Uncle Dick, who was an over-seer of a cotton plantation of 1000 acres. This time he was in high society transportation - he rode the bus! His Uncle Dick was a cripple from an accident and had a colored boy drive him. After Tom got there he got a new car and Tom drove for him. They worked all week then on week-ends they spent time in Memphis gallivanting and sight seeing. This was all new and exciting for Tom.

He went back and helped his folks on the farm another year.

Next he spent some time in Mississippi and Tennessee with more relatives that lived in a very old house that belonged to the Grandfather long before the Civil War. It was quite an antique, with a fire place that covered one complete wall -that was the best they had. It didn't burn sticks, it burned logs (it was a real log cabin). Those people only went to town once a year - bought everything by the barrel. Butchered 15 to 20 pigs a year and ate like Kings. They also hunted quail, rabbits and squirrels for the table. They had a colored man that did the chores. After their breakfast he came in and ate every thing in sight... as many as 20 biscuits. For entertainment, they went from house to house having the simple life like the "Little House on the Prairie." Tom said, "They were the happiest people he had ever seen. Simple life and raising cotton!" He went back to Colorado, his folks had moved to Denver, so he lived in Colorado Springs working in a laundry during tourist season. The laundry business was flourishing, being a tourist town. It ran 24 hours a day - people wanting the clothes like yesterday.

After his folks moved to Denver his Dad worked in a bank. Before his Dad and Mom were married, his Dad was a bookkeeper on a plantation in Mississippi. His Dad did all his own paper work on the farm - only 2 or 3 years of schooling - a self educated survivor!

Tom was still dissatisfied and had itchy feet. He took the bull by the horns and set out to see the world. Looking for bigger and better things, he migrated to California.

His first job was working again in a laundry, just like Colorado Springs! His sister, Frankie lived in Pasadena and was a nurse at St. Lukes Hospital, that's how Tom happened to land there.

Work was no stranger to Tom, he had done some of most everything in his life. He got a job in a department store wrapping Christmas packages. He didn't have all that much experience wrapping packages. On the farm they didn't have all that many presents to wrap. After Christmas he got a job in the same store, in the drapery department. He worked there 6 or 7 years and was made manager.

He had cut thru the store where I worked for years, because the store next door where he worked didn't open that early. He tipped his hat and said "Good Morning!", until one day he stopped and said he had been drafted. I guess we would have wondered what happened to him, he was so regular.

I only knew him, to speak to, before he was drafted into the army. He went to Camp Robertson, California for basic training, then to San Pedro to coastal artillery. Next to Fort Ord in Monterey, there he joined the 87th Regiment and was shipped to the Aleutian Islands, to Kiska. The other regiments that were with them were shipped to the South Pacific, but his regiment returned to Camp Hale in Colorado for Ski Training. He left Colorado to get away from the cold and landed right back there!

They formed the 10th Division that consisted of the 85th, 86th and 87th regiments. After training there for 6 months they were shipped to Texas, to train mules, packing ready for the South Pacific duty. Then months later they left for Italy. How could he sit here day in and day out with just me after all that? Maybe he was ready to settle down!

The war broke up many homes with boys leaving for the first time; not much more than kids themselves, and not all the experience Tom had.

What do you think it did to Tom's Mother? She had 7 children in the service at the same time; two in the Infantry, two in the Air Corps, two in the Navy, and a girl in the Waves. I asked her, "How did you stand it?" she said, "You don't, you can only grieve so long, then you get numb!" I told Tom many times, "I'm glad I didn't know him when he was over seas, living in trenches and fox holes, with the bullets playing a tune, whizzing by." I would have pushed the panic button long ago!

He had a pocket torn off by shrapnel, another bullet was stopped over his heart by a thermometer and the one that went clear thru his body he didn't even hear. (He still had that thermometer with the bullet hole in it.)

When they were in the U.S. they had plenty to eat, we were the ones that were rationed and didn't have any meat during the war. They were planning what they called a "Beer Bust", having scalloped potatoes and steak for 150 men. The Mess Sgt. said, "Start the steaks about noon, in order to get them all done." Tom was poking around in the Mess Hall and said, "That's crazy!" He had cooked for large amounts all his life, maybe not 150, but plenty. He said, "He could do that!" The Sgt. said, "Then it's your's, do it." The potatoes were already peeled, they ate a lot of potatoes in the army, two or three sacks were peeled everyday. Tom made the scalloped potatoes and stacked the steaks ready to cook. The Sgt. came in again and blew his stack, "haven't you started those steaks yet?" Tom said, "Keep your shirt on." He started the steaks about 1p.m., two hours before time to eat, they had their choice, rare, medium and well done. After that, he did a lot of their cooking. He wasn't the cook, he was in the Medical Corps, he just liked to cook. When he was over seas was a different story, altogether, K-rations and bare necessities were all they had, period! On his Birthday he got a stick of gum.

I know his war experiences would make a hair rising story, but he didn't talk about it all that much, nor did he shy away from it. He didn't dream and have nightmares like so many did. He said, "Some of the boys took it worse than others, clawing the earth and begging for mercy. The bigger they were the harder they fell. Especially getting their shots." I asked him "If he did?" He said "No!" He figured if he hadn't lived by the rules, now was no time to repent. I said "Weren't you scared?" He said, "Of course I was, you'd have to be a moron, not to be!"

Who's to say who is to die, after Tom had been shot himself, he told the men to stay behind the lines, while he crawled out into the line of fire and brought wounded men to safety. He was spared, while others died in his arms.

He came back to visit his old job and I saw him on the street. I asked, "How are you?" He said, "I'm surely glad to be back. I was so lonesome in the army." I asked him, "Why he didn't write, I would have answered it, lots of people wrote to service men away from home and lonely, they didn't even know." He said, "How? I don't even know your name." I said, "If you had sent it to my department I would have gotten it, I don't know your name either." He said, "I'm Tom Rowe!"

I didn't know anything about the "Smith" part until I met his family. I asked him, "Why he changed it?" He said, "He, didn't, the army did. They had too many Smiths especially when it wasn't his given name, but his silent name." But, I got the credit, Lee said, "Everybody calls him Smith but Wilma." but to be real frank, I liked "Smitty" the best.

When I met Tom, we were married, but not to each other. I'd like to give you a rave review, but all I can say, "I wasn't there!" I didn't even know him, nor can I even guess with you on this. My knowledge was limited. All I knew was her name was Adrian! She didn't stay in California and went back to Colorado and evidently couldn't resist temptations the 2 years Tom was in the service. That's where she made her mistake. If you dance, you have to pay the fiddler. Some sooner than others, but eventually all of them. You can fool some of the people some of the time, but not all of them all of the time. I said, "Fool not fool's and Tom was no fool!" I'm not trying to bury her, but he isn't one to jump at conclusions either. When she expected to pick up the slack and resume their relationship, Tom didn't tolerate deceit, no two ways about it.

I just couldn't imagine anybody that couldn't get along with Tom. I don't have to defend his disposition or character to any one. Not my family, my friends, or any one that ever met him. He’s not a "hot head", making rapid decisions, he will tolerate a lot. (I'm a prime example of that.) It wasn't a fly by night marriage, it lasted 10 years, there were no children, Tom didn't want to be responsible for bringing any children into this old world to suffer like he did! Even tho' things were getting better, not a lot, but some.

We were married in my garden, "it was lively there", and had 40 guests. As I walked up to the steps that led up to the altar, Tom left his designated place and walked down to meet me, unrehearsed, he held out his hand to assist me up the steps. I took hold of his hands and looked up into his blue eyes, and I knew I was in good hands, safe, forever!

Backing up a little, this is not in sequence. My daughter, Rosemarie was married with a beautiful formal Church wedding. Tom was an usher. A year later Tommy was born. Tom walked the floor in the hospital with me. They named him for Tom and named Tom "Godfather". Little did they know what that "Godfathers"' duties would entail. They brought Tommy to my house from the hospital and when they moved on, they left him with me.

When Tommy was 2 1/2 years old, we got married, and took him with us on our trip to Arrowhead. He was playing on the porch and a woman told him to go tell his Daddy, he came in and said, "Daddy!", and he has been calling him Daddy ever since, we didn't tell him to.

I didn't think Tom's folks or his sister, Lee approved of our getting married. They thought I was robbing the cradle. I don't know, I would have put my stamp of approval on it, if it had been one of mine. I was 5 years his senior, with a 20 year old daughter and a 2 1/2 year old grandson. Tom raised Tommy from the day he was born, taught and loved him, never a biological Father could have been more devoted.

I owned my home, fully paid for. Tom didn't have to pay one months rent or make one house payment. He wouldn't take advantage of that, so to compensate, he built a den clear across the rear of the house with a bath and sliding glass door over looking the patio. With fire place, he also had put in, and last but not least, he added 7 ft. onto the living room. Most of the work he did himself and with the retired carpenter next door help and advice.

The day we got married, my neighbors all wondered what was taking place, that afternoon the street was lined with cars. So, when we got home from our trip, we invited the entire street to a barbecue to meet Tom. They brought us a silver carving set. You know they say, "give a sharp gift, it will cut your love in two." but that proved to be the greatest neighborhood there ever was. The ladies formed a bridge club and the men a poker game at alternating homes. They told Tom he was the youngest member. He said, "Could be, but I'm the only Grandfather!"

Tom and I started "The Story Book Lane" at Christmas time. If my memory doesn't fail me, you (Jack) came once during that season. We had it 11 years without a hitch or one disaster, it took 9 police to direct the traffic, they put down a Geiger Counter and 80 to 100 thousand came thru every season.

We lost my Father, so we bought my Mother a little bungalow a few blocks from us, after looking clear across the foot hills for a place big enough for her to live with us. Tom painted it inside and out. New linoleum and the whole bit. New furniture, her 1st frig., it wasn't the dark ages, other people had modern appliances, she was 72 years old. He also got her a T.V., we didn't even have one. He said, "She is alone and couldn't go anywhere and she needed it worse than we did." If she wasn't up to par, he slept over, so she could have help if she needed it. I worked in L.A. and had to be there at 7:30am - an hour from home, was why Tom slept over instead of me. He said, "I needed my rest and I wouldn't get it if I stayed there worrying about her." Now, stack that son-in-law against any of them! He was better to her than her own son.

Tom wanted to take us to Colorado to see the country and visit his old stomping grounds and his family. Mama didn't feel up to going, so, she stayed with my brother. We took Rosemarie and Tommy. It isn't that he doesn't like children, he does, he has always been fond of mine. Tom would do anything humanly possible for them. He raised Tommy and enjoyed every minute of it. Loved him as much as I did, just like he was his own but he still didn't feel responsible for their existence.

We visited his 3 brothers and their families, had a family picnic, also by a stream, beautiful setting. Colorado is famous for its beauty. We went fishing, doesn't everybody? We even went to the city park, you ordinarily wouldn't think that was something you couldn't live without, but it was. We went to Colorado Springs to see "The Cave of the Winds". We thought everything was the best, but the best was yet to come. "Seven Falls", just spectacular. We spent our allotted time with the folks. Before we left Tom took us to Fountain to see where he was born. I didn't expect to have a good time, but I did. But, I couldn't get all the potential out of the trip I might have, if I hadn't had to look on the dark side. When we got home, Tommy had to start to school. I didn't see how I could let him go. I knew what it was like. The most trying time in my life, so far, was when Rosemarie started to school and I had to let her go. I survived some how, but I wouldn't have bet the farm on it. Empty Nest Syndrome.

Tom's folks visited California several times. They usually stayed with us the biggest part of the time. His Dad told me he was always proud of his son, he was reliable and faithful. You might think it was because he was talking to me, in my house, but I had found that to be true - all on my own!

As I recall some of Tom's patience; Tommy and I were on the way home from my folks, they lived in Highland Park, about half way home we ran out of gas for the first and only time, not any where near a gas station. I saw a bus coming, so we made a mad dash for it. I had a bottle in my hand with a ship in it, Mama had given Tommy, I didn't want to leave it in the car. We must have been a sight, running with a bottle, barefooted! When Tom got home and heard my dilemma he said, as he laughed, "No big deal!". He agreed it was amusing and some predicament. He got a can of gas and we drove over to get the car. I realized, I didn't have my keys. It was my bridge night and Tom's poker game, we only had time to dress and get there. So after mid-night we started again to get my car Tom laughingly said, "Are you sure you've got your keys, this trip?" The patience of Jobe! (sic)

Tommy was 5 years old and starting to school, where did that 5 years go? As Tom recalled the day Tommy was in the yard in his play pen. He went out to get him and he was standing up in the middle of it eating a graham cracker. How did he get there with nothing to pull up by, and only 10 months old? That night the mystery was solved, he turned loose and walked clear across the room and held up his arms to Tom. We didn't believe in forcing a child to walk, let them do it at their own pace, but 10 months was too soon. They say, "If you walk before you have learned to crawl, sometime in your life you have to learn to walk all over again. (Tommy was in a car accident when he was 27 years old, with a broken hip and femur; he didn't walk for 2 years without assistance and he had to learn to walk all over again.)

One day Tom came home from work and turned into the driveway. Tommy was waiting for him and held up his hand, "Stop! I'll bring the car in." He tied a string 6 ft. long on the car bumper and other end on the back of his kiddy car. He got on it and pulled the car up the driveway. It was a good trick on Tom's part, to drive the car slowly enough not to run into Tommy, and still not break the string. Tommy was so pleased with his accomplishment, "See, I did it!" His little mind had figured it all by itself. Tom was also proud of him, he was only 3 years old.

About that same time, we had dinner at a Chinese Restaurant, and were ready to leave. Tommy jumped up and stood at the end of the table and said, "I'm going to pay. As he pulled a dollar bill out of his pocket. Times had changed, inflation and all. When I was young a penny of a nickel would cure most anything!

As Tom was enlarging the living room, he was working on the roof. Tommy saw the ladder leading up to where Tom was working, so he decided to investigate and join him. He climbed up O.K., then he stepped off and fell to the ground below. Tom practically flew off of the roof, grabbed him up, ran into the kitchen and started washing his face. I thought because it was dirty, not knowing about the fall. Then he wrapped it around his head (the towel) and started out the door without saying a word. Hal was working in his yard and saw Tom's predicament thru (sic) down his rake, got in the drivers seat and took off. We lived in Altadena, but the emergency was in Pasadena in the Police Station. I knew Tom wouldn't unnecessarily panic, but where did they go and for what reason. They were gone, seemed like hours, while I paced. When they finally got home every thing seemed calm enough, there was a bandage the size of a dime on the side of the bridge of his nose. Tom said, "He was bleeding so furiously, he thought it was coming from his eye!" When he fell, he had struck the painted end of a 2 x 4 and 11/4 of an inch from his eye. We were mighty thankful for that 1/4 of an inch. When it healed and the swelling went down, Tom removed the stitches. (I never could have done that.) More and more, Tom was an answer to all our problems. With his ready made family, Rosemarie had three more children, two girls and a boy; Claudia, Courtney, and Jay. Jay was born in Pakistan when her husband was sent there for a year. Now, there are 4 grandchildren (Tommy didn't have any).

Tom read to Tommy a lot, some things over and over. One time Tommy said, "now let me read it to you! I had a boo bunny and I yost it. I yooked every where and I couldn't find it. I yooked under the bed, under the chair , under the table, but I couldn't find it, any where. Then I found it, in the toy bocodis, and I felt so siddy!" (sic) (That really tickled Tom.) Of course it wasn't word for word but he got the gist. They did everything together. When Tom started to cook, here came Tommy with his stool, to take it all in. After he was grown he also was a good chef, he said "Because he had such a good teacher"! It didn't stop there, he taught him to garden, Tommy's garden is proof of that and also to mechanic. Tommy was an asthmatic and couldn't do all the things other kids did.

Our Christmas Pageant was still going in full force, as I recall how it all started. I drew and painted a Santa Claus on skis, with his pack over his shoulder, on a huge candy cane. Tom cut it out and mounted it on our roof (each year a different one). My neighbors asked, "What are you going to do with all those Santa's?" I said, "When I get enough I'm going to put one on each house," laughingly!

That's when I thought 24 Santa's would be a bit much and something children could relate to would be great, like story book characters (The story behind "Story Book Land"). I got a roll of butchers paper and sketched 24 "Story Book Characters" and took them to our October Bridge Club meeting. I was surprised when I presented them and the ladies took it with great enthusiasm, not one pessimist.

It was a big undertaking. I showed my sketches one by one. They could either do mine or make their own, if they were inclined. Tom and I would give them any help they needed to get started, cutting out, drawing, painting and etc. Anyone that needed help was to ask for it on the street, no out side help would be allowed. No ready made characters could enter. It had to remain a neighborhood project. Everything was taking shape and all the excitement mounted. The lights were put in place on the figures and roof tops. A minister was chosen to dedicate our project at the "Manger Scene". ("The Greatest Story Ever Told!.") The ribbon was cut the lights came all at once and our Church Choir sang in the still of the night. It was breath taking. Just 2 months ago it was our dream. It started from nothing and grew to be known nationwide

If anyone was ill, or going out of town, Tom would make sure theirs were put up and lighted. Our first scene was "Hi Diddle Diddle" I drew the characters and Tom cut them out and suspended them above the roof in mid air. (Don't ask me how?) The cat was playing his fiddle, the dog was laughing ,the cow was jumping over the moon, and the dish was running away with the spoon. This was all in the air, with out any wire visible. Tom was really good at anything he attempted. During the 11 years we had different scenes. Another worth mentioning, Tom made a picket fence across our lawn, we made little boys white washing it, with Aunt Polly standing by with her stick and Becky taking it all in. While on the roof, Tom Sawyer was napping with his straw hat pulled over his face and his fishing line tied to his big toe in case the fish started to bite, while the kids did his work.

We got lots of publicity from the newspapers, articles, and pictures. (They are all in my Christmas Memory Book.) The Altadena Rotary Club invited us to a dinner and we were awarded a Gold Cup for first prize in "Out Door Decorating". It was presented by Altadena Merchants and Businessmans Association. The cup was engraved 1951, first Prize, Altadena Outdoor Christmas Decorations, "Story Book Lane". We got letters from as far as Texas and New York asking how we got started and if we could give them patterns so they could start one in their city! Bus loads of elderly and orphans were bused by and it somehow seemed all worth it! To give that much pleasure. That was the biggest reason we hated to move away, even though if you did, you were supposed to leave your Characters for the new owner, but after we left the enthusiasm left, too! It was never lighted again.

When I hear of step-fathers beating the children and even killing some. There is no amount of gold to out-weigh the feelings Tom had for all my children.

When Rosemarie remarried, her husband wanted to adopt Tommy. Tom said, "No! way are going to disrupt this boy's life, church and school. I'll go to court if I have to."

Tom was now District Manager for Gate's Rubber Company. He held meetings and demonstrated their products. I didn't see how he could , being so quiet.

The following year Tom was coach for Tommy's "Little League Team". He wanted to get involved in sports but his asthma prevented his doing too much. So, this where was Tommy could play ball, while Tom looked after him.

When Tommy was 10 years old, he wanted to join the Church and be baptized. That was Tommys own idea, we didn't tell him to or encourage it, but when they played the invitational hymn, Tom stood up and walked down in front to join the prospective members. We didn't know Tommy was going to do that either, he hadn't said a word or discussed it. Again, Tom wanted to be with Tommy. Tom was so active in our Church in leadership, class president and etc., that people were surprised to know he hadn't joined years ago. He joined and was baptized with Tommy (A very happy day for all of us). I was baptized when I was little in Garden Grove's First Church, now Lee says there are 9 high schools, so you can see how long ago that was.

Tom felt that way about all the children. When Rosemarie spent a year in Pakistan, then came back to the states and lived a couple of years in Colorado Springs, where her husband was born, Tom hated to see her go. She was part of the brood, leaving the nest. He felt that way about all the kids, even when they were away at College or just traveling. There was never a kinder or gentler man that ever walked this earth.

Tom's father passed away and he was going to fly back for the funeral. We were waiting in the airport for the plane, when we saw Tom's sister, Frankie, waiting to board that very same plane. It was real blessing for both of them, not having to fly that lonesome trip alone. Neither knew the other was taking that plane, there were several they could have been on. A few months later Tom's mother passed away and 2 months later my mother died. All in 6 months, a very sad time for both of us.

After my mother died, it was even worse than when my dad died, to not have either one. I pushed the panic button. I came unglued with my whole being exposed. Tom said, "Come on, let's go see Rosemarie." He thought that was the best thing he could do for me and it was. We visited Tom's parents graves and put flowers on them for comfort. This time I had no restraints, I wanted to go, it wasn't a pleasure trip either. We didn't expect it to be. Even though Bill took us out to lunch at his Club. Rosemarie and Ted took us and the kids too, for dinner at an old mining town, "Cripple Creek". Tom went to Sear's and bought Claudia, about 7 years old, a little girlie bed, a frame for Rosemaries mattress and a redwood picnic table with benches for their patio. We left Colorado with an impatient wander lust, I was anxious to get going, but for what? I took my last look at the beautiful red mountains and the green green forests. Tommy said, "wall to wall trees!"

I'm going to miss all those dear people! Tom's folk's spent a lot of time with us when they came to California and I took them sight seeing while Tom worked. I never could understand all the feuding with in-laws. I felt the same way about Tom's parents as I did my own. They gave me life and Tom's gave him life and that made them pretty important to me. If they hadn't, I wouldn't have him and he felt the same way about mine. I told you before, I didn't think they wanted us to get married. Tom had one failed marriage and they didn't want him to have another, but when he was contented and happy, so were they.

Tommy went with a girl for several years and when she got married her folks said, "They only had one thing to say, they wished it had been Tommy." Now his wife's folks feel the same way about him and I firmly believe it's because he's good to them, just like Tom was to mine!

That's when we bought our new house. We had lived there 4 months when Tom took desperately ill. He had 106 fever. After being in the hospital 10 days the doctor told me. "You and I both know he isn't going to make it, no one can survive 106 fever, if you have any plans to make, make them!" Tommy now 16, and I went home and knelt down to pray. I said, "Dear God, I don't know what to say or do, but if it be thy will, we'll have to give him up!" Tommy jumped up and through his tears said, "I won't go along with that!" The following Sunday the doctor said, "He wasn't going home until he found the cause and he did. There was an abscess in his intestines, they drained it and got a quart of puss, the fever dropped immediately, but he was in the hospital another month. A bird made her nest on the window sill, laid her eggs, hatched them and they flew away, all while Tom lay in that bed. He had his 49th Birthday in that hospital.

It wasn't all bad, we had a lot of good times. Once we had a Luau, not too many on the mainland at that time. Tom made grass shacks for the 4 corners of the pool and small ones for table centerpieces. We had barbecued chicken and ribs cooking all around the pool on portable barbecues. The main finale was when two men carried in a pig on a pole, roasted elsewhere.

We had an Easter Breakfast for our Sunday School Class, Tom made a fountain for the middle of the pool, a ring about two feet across, covered with white gardenias with a fountain coming out the middle. He could do most anything. You'll agree when he carved a punch bowl out of a 50 lb. block of ice. That he put in Tommy's red wagon freshly painted, so he could pull it around to the guests. Then he covered it with plastic until the guests arrived. One couple was always late. So, when Tom did the punch bowl unveiling being covered so long, it had sprung a leak and punch was all in the wagon. Nobody could get the best of Tom. For him to show any emotion, so he passed straws and everybody sat around sipping punch from the wagon and said, "They had never had such a fun party."

I could go on an on, Tom was a great host, but just one more!

We went from house to house at 7:30 and invited the neighbors "To come as they were next Saturday." We kept track of their attire. You'd be surprised how many were ready for bed at that early hour. One came with a child's pottie and a roll of toilet paper and another with just a towel wrapped around him and a bar of soap. We had brunch for our old neighbors and "Open House" for our new ones. Parties for both my office and Tom's. Besides just swimming parties for friends and family.

Then later he was trimming a tree and hurt his back and the Chiropractor took x-rays and found just below his collar bone there was deteriorating. Tom decided it was from sleeping in the snow during the war. They had told them then they could look forward to arthritis. Last, but far from least he had a heart attack, yes! Back to the hospital. Not much they could do either, but a diet and rest, then a walk everyday. I walked with him, I couldn't let him go alone. While he was in the hospital Tommy had his car painted, there wasn't too much he could do, but he felt he should do something! Tom had the same car stolen twice, right off of the busy street where he had it parked, across from the shop where he worked. If he had been looking, he could have seen it go. The first time it was located with minimal damage, it cost $75.00 to repair, but the second time it was totaled, even to removing the windshield and wheels, the thing that hurt me the most, they had taken a sharp object and scratched Tommy’s new paint job from stem to stern. Just plain devious! After Tom’s heart attack he only worked half days and drove the company truck, which was never stolen! Tommy said, "Tom’s ’62 chevy was a hotrodder’s delight, was why they kept picking on it." Why should a man that never did anything in his life but help others have so many things to cope with due to his health? I can’t say I was a picture of health, but I nursed Tom thru all his illnesses, now who’s "rocking" it?

Frankie said, "She couldn’t see how I could look as good as I did and have anything as serious as cancer." Never-the-less I had cancer surgery and radiation treatments the following year. Years later I had several bouts with diverticulitis and lost over half of my blood and had transfusions, that were so risky. Last, but not entirely less mentionable, I fell and broke my pelvis. They put the hospital bed after I came home, in the den, so I could see my garden and T.V.

Bill sent Tom a letter he had gotten asking, "If he was related to Tom and knew his where-abouts?" Bill said, "I thought Tom would like to answer it himself." It was from Tom's long lost school chum, Edison Charles, after 50 years. Tom contacted him, now in New Jersey as far away as he could get, Charles on one coast and Tom in California on the other. After that they exchanged Christmas greetings and brought each other up on that years happenings. Charles sent a picture of he and his wife, they both had snow white hair, we sent them a picture also. He said, "He wouldn't have know Tom, but his legs and hair looked familiar." I have seen pictures of them in High School basketball and believe me he had changed.

I always thought I would like to see one from my school days, but its disappointing, from years gone by, old and gray and receding hairline. I made a mistake not using my maiden name during the publicity in "Story Book Lane" I might have contacted some then.

Tom liked to fish, I hated anything to do with the "wilds", especially the thought of camping. I went fishing, but I slept in the trailer. I didn't care for sports, naturally Tom did. So, I took up baseball and watched it regularly to the extent I knew alt their names and positions. We watched golf and bowling, too. Football, basketball, and tennis, he watched, but not with me.

I'm an ultimate romantic, really enjoy a good love story. Tom would rather watch a Western. He even liked war pictures, I wouldn't have believed that, after "his" war experiences. When the Music Center opened in L.A. I got season tickets, they were hard to come by. Our seats were in the first row of the first balcony. I was glad to get those seats and see so well. Tom could sleep good there too, at those prices! He can sleep anywhere if he gets bored.

Neither does he understand how I can sit and knit, watch soaps or write in my books for hours at a time. Nobody can accomplish any finished product, by knitting or writing a few minutes now and then. He would rather sleep or read. I wouldn't sleep at all if I could get by without it. I always say, "You can sleep a long time after your dead!" At the least, if you live to 60 years old, you have slept 20 years of it. If I sleep in the day time, I have taken medicine, the label reads, "Don't drive a car or operate dangerous machinery!"

I can cook, but I'd rather not. Tom really enjoys it, he's our Chef! He has two freezers full of I have no idea what. We have a simple breakfast and an evening snack, but our main meal is a banquet. He wants me stay out of "his" kitchen, until he announces "Are you about ready to eat?" He doesn't plan desserts, he says "That's my department."

Not being provocative, cynical or a prophet of doom and gloom, exactly what would you say is the definition of our success? I can't put my finger on it either, or the operative word. I can't say compatible, living in harmony, giving and taking love or hate, it's none of the above. You just wait, I'll come up with it-------It's extra special, I can say that for sure.

I asked Tom what he would say if he were giving my eulogy. He said, "Well let me think, you're a good person, a great house keeper!" La-d-da! Wouldn't that frost your timbers. It's just appalling, but I guess he could have said, "Your a rotten person and a lousy house keeper!"

You know the old cliché – "you can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy!" Not true in my case (Tom that is). The first few years I knew Tom he practically lived, you might say, in a 3 piece suit, never bright or gay colors, always drab brown or grays. If he worked in the yard, fully clothed, Levis and a shirt. I guess on the farm, overalls and a plaid shirt.

We were going to Yosemite, I bought him a pair of shorts and packed them in my luggage. It was plenty hot and everybody was running around in shorts and bathing suits. I asked Tom, "If he didn't wish he had a pair of shorts?" He shrugged his shoulders and said, "My legs are too skinny." I brought out the shorts and said, "Try these on for size!" I was a success. He wore them the rest of our trip and later even a bikini bathing suit. He's enjoying his leisure dress code in his "Golden Years"!

After Tom retired and was home, he fell heir to "Neighborhood Watch". It all began by them asking him to look after their places while they were away, bring in their mail and pick up their papers. A few even asked to take out their trash and bring in the cans. Again, Tom's good nature surfaced, he didn't feel belittled or taken advantage of, he was glad to help and they trusted him with their keys. There was no money involved, but the Japanese family, I'm sorry to say, were the only ones that even brought him a souvenir from their trip. He said, "They don't owe me anything, to be honest, I'd rather they didn't." This way he felt like a humanitarian and not an errand boy.

A couple of years ago I finally got around to assembling Tom's war records and events. I wanted to for a long time, but wasn't sure how to do justice to them. I made a list, each one separate. Rosemarie helped me, by taking the list and typing the sub titles on sticky tape so I could press them under each medal, topic and event. That helped immensely for there were a lot of them. I couldn't list everything, even tho' I wanted to shout it from the house top. If I had only gone on that T.V. program and gotten the family together then I could have aired it on national television. Not a soul could doubt his record, bravery or MY PRIDE! He was awarded: Medical Badge, Bronze Star, Medal of Honor, Silver Star, and Purple Heart for being wounded in action. The list goes on and on. The Silver Star was Gallantry, four consecutive days under enemy fire, he administered care and treatment to wounded personnel. During that entire period his conspicuous courage and professional workmanship resulted in saving lives and alleviation of much suffering during an exceptionally heavy barrage. If he did all that for practically strangers, what do you think he would do for me and my family. How can you expect one lone person, ME and one PEN to possible describe this man and do "Justice"!!!

I really think Tom was dubious about me writing his story. I wasn't unsettled in my opinion or uncertain of the out come. Some era's were too pensive and outrageous, for any one to have to bear. I wrote it deliberately and not the least bit sarcastic and then I only scratched the surface of his "dog eat dog" world! Tom didn't hold any vengeance after the war, nor felt they owed him a living, like a lot of them did. It wasn't a personal crisis, nor had he inherited the world. I'd probably argue that point and get caught up in it and end up "Persona non Grata". After all is said and done, it's of secondary importance. Now was a new episode for him, get along with it, trying not to analyze what might have been. Neither did he feel inadequate, after all he was still alive! Tom had a hard life growing up in a large family, no doubt he thought there must be something better ahead. Even tho' he didn't get prepared in his early years to face and concur the rat race ahead. Then he was drafted into the war - that was to end all war's I Trying to accomplish that with the pea shooters they had to work with, compared to what they have today - and for what? Everybody is asking the same thing. If there's one thing to be learned from all this war stuff, is that the smart people of the world have to find a way not to have another war. According to the Bible, that will never happen. "As long as there are two people, there will always be wars and rumors of wars". Time has proven that, one after another and now they are at it again. Tom was bound to think, WWII was all for nothing. The Bible also states, "When the entire world is at war at the same time, it will be the last!" Saddam says, "If war is declared he will invoIve the whole world". He underscored that point, a real catastrophe. The wave of war's jitters grips the nation. The news is depressing and sets a dim tone. Who is this organizer, running rough shod over everyone? Where did he get the power? Tom says the same as the war is over a week old. We could go back to our daily routine, the news has worn off. The tension has even let up for some, but not for the ones involved. This is not a particularly favorable time for the world in general. Military is shocked by casualty prediction and may not be the time to bring up anything personal.

I thought of the mother that had three boys in the service, that had all joined of their own accord in peace time with no thought of war, and now that there was, their mother thought at least one should be released. I know she must be suffering and this will be of little comfort to her or other grief stricken mothers. My mother-in-law had seven in the service during World War II. I thought she deserved a "Medal of Merit" all her own, but she didn't look at it that way. She got all she wanted, they came home alive - all seven of them. As you know, Tom was one of those seven. Who is the one to determine who is to live and when you die? I know first hand what the war can do to a man. I didn't know Tom all that well before the war, but there was always something about him I didn't understand. He was never happy or sad, glad or mad, remained on an even keel. If they were lucky enough to survive, nothing really made any difference or sense anymore.

My hand writing is a lost art, there is no comparison to my penmanship. I started 8 years ago writing my autobiography and I have written almost daily ever since. After I had finished it, Tom said, "Why don't you write a diary?" I always hated a dull boring diary. Then he said, "write a book!" I also hate fiction, my books are strictly the truth. My daughter came to us with "write your thoughts", she hardly knew what that entailed. I could have typed it, but that seemed so informal, like a printed Christmas card.

I asked Tom if he felt deprived not having a child of his own. He said, "not in the least, he couldn't loved any more, more than he did mine. This is a case of actions speaking louder than words. He raised Tommy, loved, tutored, setting a good example to the greatest of his ability, with the least discipline any boy ever had. Now that Tommy is grown and doesn't need any advise is good. Tom wouldn't have it any other way, because he's a man now. He waited with anxious anticipation. Every time he called was music to his ears. He couldn't remember daddy chastising him when he was a teenager, even vaguely.

We had a small Opal, Tom let Tommy drive it and he kept it parked in front. One night when we came home, coming around the corner our head lights shined on a dented front end. Tommy and a girl were going to a wedding, she said, "Down this way!" Tommy turned his head and plowed into the car in front of him. Any average stepfather would have half-killed him, or at least made him work and pay for the damages. Not Tom, he sold the car for $75.00 and gave the $75.00 to Tommy to go towards a down payment on another car. Tom said, "I give him too much credit!"

Tom shampooed my hair when I wasn't able to get to the beauty parlor. One time he took me to the salon and took it all in. He said, "I can do thatl" So, he tried his skills; pin curls and rollers - the entire procedure just like a professional. So, he had a full time job from then on and enjoyed doing it. He said, "I'm available and you don't need an appointment!"

After I had my bout losing over half of my blood and all that weight, my hands looked so boney and withered, veins protruding. I didn't want to wear my rings or any other jewelry to call any unnecessary attention to them. I didn’t even want to wear nail polish but my nails are so stained from working in the garden. Tom said, "Don't say anything about those hands. They mended hose for 11 years in the store when I met you, they sewed your own clothes, they knitted over 200 pieces, they painted all those pictures. Maybe there are hands that never did anything, but don't you ever let me hear you say anything about those hands again!" Now I'm writing he's my "One Man Fan Club"!

A gardener dropped dead on a lawn while the woman across the street was cursing him for backing into her mail box post. At another house a little boy died and another was born spastic. Another lady had a hip replacement. Tom saw the sheriff and he went to investigate, not because he was nosy, because he was Neighborhood Watch Man. Tom saw the sheriff and ambulance, again he went to investigate, he saw them taking a teen age girl away with an over dose, while her folks were away. Another girl that Tommy went to school with came home and stabbed her Mother. While her mother was on the phone to 911, shots rang out, she had shot her mother to death. (These things didn't happen all at once.) Tom asked our neighbor if another neighbor had moved. He said, "How should I know, I think I saw her a few days ago." Then a day or so later Tom saw the sheriff there and went down to check. He was told that the widow was found dead in her pool and had been dead a week. He also said, "People should look after one another." Which Tom was trying to do! Then the man that wasn't concerned, had a stroke at 6 in the morning. Tom went down to find his wife in hysterics. A young man with two small children. Tom was trying to comfort her while they hauled him away. Now what did they say about "high rent district"? Even I, had to be taken away with my broken pelvis. That left one house on our cul-de-sac of 10 houses untouched. All the time we lived in Altadena on our street of 24 houses, there was never an emergency or a tragedy of any kind. One way to look at it, we didn't have any robberies, kidnapping or rapes --- to be thankful--- here either.

When we were married, that hurry up affair, every body was helping. My brother, Harley and Eddie, a friend said they would take home movies. We said fine, not only did they take pictures, they took them home and we didn't have any. Eddie gave us his on our first anniversary. The kids wanted to see it and they asked how long have we had been married. I said, "forty years." I knew we had been married 40 years all along, but what I hadn't thought about was, it was half of my life. No comparison to the first half, many moves and changes, disappointments and failures. Tom and I had only lived in two places for 40 years, without one cross word. We always knew where the other one was and didn't feel stymied either. I'd do it over again without a minute hesitation!

We still couldn't get over all the tragedy that had happened on our street. Ed, an old pioneer in the community told Tom, "at one time many years ago, this street was a weigh station." Now we can't help but wonder how many people might be buried here. We have had a few occasions on that score ourselves. Like people walking down the hall with big heavy foot steps and no one in sight. Lights coming on in the night in our bedroom with all the doors and windows shut. Several times we saw lights on in another room thru the glass doors and we'd go to turn it off and it was out. One morning at breakfast, Tom asked, "Why are you pulling the milk carton out of my hand?" I hadn't touched it. Another time Tom said, "Where did that hand come from?" I looked at the couch and a perfect glove was there - with fingers and thumb, it was a towel and the border formed the cuff. Our puppy was lying right beside it and when he jumped down, two fingers disappeared. I tried to put those two fingers back and it was impossible, they just couldn't hold up with being out of that soft towel. I wish we had taken a picture of it, no one would believe it. Those lights were not optical illusions, different people saw them. I had never believed in ghosts before, but makes you wonder!

After Tom retired he did all the driving, because he always went every place I did. He said I could drive any time I wanted to, but the man usually does the driving. I told him, "some day we might regret it!"

Tom worried about me when I retired because I had always been so active. I retired November first and I knitted every one an afghan for Christmas, he didn't need to worry about me stopping!

When I had my broken pelvis, they put a hospital bed in the den for me. I could see my patio and gardens and T.V., but that wasn't enough. So, Tom took me to the Yarn Mart in the wheel chair and piled all the yarn my lap would hold. Then I made a dress, a coat, a pair of pants and a sweater all matched and designed from that hospital bed.

Our first little toy poodle was Tom's pet, it loved to swim with him and knew the difference from Tom's swimming trunks and the walking ones. One day Tom wasn't ready yet, but he had on his swimming trunks and to be sure, he put the puppies' dolly it played with in the pool on a hanging basket. The puppy climbed upon a stack of stools and fell off backwards and broke his neck. Tom slept on the floor with that puppy as long as it had the brace on, he was afraid it might try to jump up on something and get hurt worse. So you see, Tom's tender heart is for anybody and anything that needs attention. There is and never has been another to compare that ever walked this earth.

After my brothers wife died and he was cleaning things out, he gave us his "home movies" of our wedding. We hadn't seen Harley's (Hyde) yet. I kept wanting to. So, at one of Larry's (Hyde) birthday celebrations they showed it. It was the best and the only one in color. After we got home Tom said he wanted a copy of that one. He called Harley and was told by him that he didn't know where it was only a couple of days later much to Tom's disappointment. I also wanted to see Lee and Harleys wedding pictures, Tom walked her down the aisle, but she never got around to that either. If you could shake ours loose from her, I think you would enjoy it. Your parents, my parents, Lee and Harley, my brother and his wife, Rosemarie and Larry and of course, Tom and me, besides the guests are all on that reel. As you know, we still have your wedding pictures.

Tom attended several "Living Trust" seminars over the years and last August he decided to go do something about it. So, we got a Living Trust and next he wanted to get cemetery lots and our funeral arrangements, it suited me, I'd feel better if we did. Some things we didn't want in the trust, but the lawyer told us even if we didn't, he wanted it on file, you couldn't believe what some heir's would bring up. He picked out a plot of four, one for each of us (Tommy and Rosemarie) if they had other plans to be with their families was O.K. with Tom, he just wanted to be sure they were taken care of. Then we picked out our caskets, music, flowers in fine detail. At home we did the same with our attire, it isn't so bad done ahead when you’re not under duress. Tom wouldn't have it any other way, but I had to choose a knit dress. I thought pink, the casket was pink lined, so I decided on blue, you'd think we were going to a ball!

In case you're wondering, my husband was also in the service. He was gone four years and then came home without a scratch and was hit by a car crossing the street and killed, one month after Rosemarie's wedding. Tom knew him slightly but not on a personal basis. I was in deep depression, I didn't mean to be flippant, if I had a shred of dignity left. It was Tom who helped me get thru it, he didn't have to win and influence people, it was just his nature. He gave me something to live for, if it didn't include him that was not his intention for a minute.

There was never a kinder man ever walked this earth, than Tom, he had to be to put up with me. He had the patience of Jobe (sic)! If I say this enough times, you'll get the drift, I mean it. No one compared!

Tom had a lot of back trouble, a simple thing as putting on his p.j.'s or sneezing, could throw it out, where hard work didn't faze it. He was also prone to flu's, he has at least one or two every season. Not the 24 hour kind, the lingering ones. He says he had a lot of tonsillitis as a youngster, but he doesn't have any trouble sleeping. I always felt that was as good as medicine, but there's a limit to that too. I have heard sleeping too much can be a problem. I kept asking him to tell the doctor, but he was too embarrassed. He finally did tell the doctor that he took a nap after lunch, the doctor said "that's good, I wish I could." Tom knew that wasn’t what I was referring to. Dropping off the minute he sits down or at the table and when company is talking to him. It seemed to me, more than just a habit.

Tom wanted to drain the pool and have it acid washed. There was some talk about rationing water, so he checked with the water company and was told, "It wasn't mandatory yet, so go ahead and do it while he could." He drained it, had it acid washed and they said, "it needed painted, but it had to be cleaned from the acid wash before they could paint it, and they hadn't done that. With the water rationing threat Tom worked all day and night…at 4:00am he was still brushing that scale off. I kept telling him to wear his mask, but he said, "You have no idea how hard it is to work with a mask on!" I use to see the trash collectors and the cleaners sweeping the parking lot at the market wearing masks all day. All that work and the pool didn't need paint after all, it did leave Tom with a nagging cough though. I ask him not to cough and spit in the front yard for doing as little as just getting the paper, people would think he had consumption. He said, "It only happened when he changed air." Little by little it became more obvious, to the extent, we had to stop going to Church. A large sanctuary of people made his cough worse. He was still under the doctors care, many tests and x-rays - came up with nothing. I asked Tom many times, "What color was the phlegm?" He would say, "It's my sinus dripping, not from my lungs." I'm was not satisfied, but what can you do? He used nose spray, cough medicine daily and every single night. He kept getting slowly worse, I didn't know just how bad, because he never complained.

Ernie's illness came at a very trying time. All the phone calls and letters from the nieces, kept Tom so upset because there wasn't anything he could do. Then losing his sister, just finished him in his weakened condition. So you see why we were not able to entertain you as we'd liked. He did not attend Camillia's (Camillis’) memorial service because he didn't want to, he had no choice.

Even with his aches and pains he insisted on doing the cooking, it was his kitchen and he enjoyed it. I could set the table and wash the dishes, but that was the extent of it until he announced, "Are you about ready to eat?" You couldn't tell how he felt, even back 32 years ago when I took him to the hospital. When he crawled into the back seat and laid down was the first I realized how sick he was, with the 106 degree temperature. I went back in the house and got him a pillow and blanket and he said, thank you. When we got to the hospital they kept us waiting in the lobby so long. Tom said, "If they don't hurry up, I'm going to have to lay down on the floor". You just can't imagine how scared I was!

A Mormon family a couple of blocks above us sold their place and were having a buffet to introduce the new owners to their neighbors. Seemed like a good idea. We were invited, I fully intended to go. I saw no reason not to. I walked around the pool every day for exercise, 50 laps. I started out that day and on my third lap, I fell, for no apparent reason, I fell, and I couldn't get up. I called for Tom, but he had the T.V. on and couldn't hear me. So, I crawled with my bloody knees over to the patio where he could see me. He came out and said, "What are you doing down there?" I told him not to try to lift me with his bad back, just get me something to pull up by. So, consequently, I couldn't go to the buffet. Tom didn't want to go either, we never wanted to go anywhere without the other one. I told him to go and have a good time (like sending a kid off to school) but be home before dark. He got home before dark with a plate of goodies, always thinking of me. When he was getting ready to go it was a big decision, he had 25 sweaters I had knit him, deciding which to wear. He came out for my approval, but he was so coordinated, I couldn't change a thing. As he walked down the street I watched him with his back straight, his head high and a spring in his step, and I thought I had never seen him look better. We did everything together after we retired, every bite we ate, we always went to bed at the same time, neither one stayed up to read or watch T.V.

As I started down the hall I heard a loud crash behind me. I turned around just in time to see the six foot man crumble, he had grabbed the entry hall table and turned it over. He was trying to get up, I said "Don't!" I remembered so well what it was like when I broke my pelvis. He said "I'm alright, I just got dizzy," then he walked on down the hall to the bed and fell again. No, he didn't have anything to drink at the Mormon buffet, they wouldn't serve coke, or a cup of coffee. I knew this was serious. He crawled to the bedroom and pulled up by the bed. He didn't appear to have any ill effects from the fall. It bothered me, but he didn't seem upset over it at all. A few days later I saw him fall backward into his wardrobe closet and was hanging on to the door frame. I said, "What are you doing?" He just kept falling, mashed his laundry hamper flat and fell clear back into his shoe rack against the back wall. I got a stool helped him on to it and then back to bed. He didn't mention it, as if it never happened, I really don't think he knew it.

Tommy was temporarily out of work so he was available to take Tom to the doctor. Every time they went I held my breath to see if Tom was with him when he returned, or if he had been hospitalized. The next time something happened he was looking up at the cupboard over the freezer, as he raised his head his eyes went up in his head. I grabbed him before he fell. I thought the doctor should have known a long time ago. They took a Cat Scan and found brain tumors, then they determined lung cancer, but they still didn't hospitalize him. Evidently the doctor told Tom and Tommy both what to expect and when, but I didn't want to know. Remember, that very same doctor told me 32 years ago he wouldn't make it. Tom told me that if he had to go the hospital they would take a lot of tests and x-rays for nothing, he said he couldn't leave me. He made Tommy promise he wouldn't leave me alone at night. Tom was always there for me, the strange part was that I never asked him to be. Especially now, with my aging socialite face!

Tom fell out of bed and upset the commode, together Tommy and I couldn't get him up, we were plenty scared. The doctor had told Tommy he still made house calls to his old patients (my doctor was his Dad, then he studied medicine and took over his fathers' practice, I'm about as old as you can get). Tommy called him at 6:00am and he came right over and called the ambulance. I knew as they took him away, Tom didn't think he would ever be back. They gave him treatments on his head and saw some results, walked him with the walker for exercise. He complained about the food and told them, "send up the chef and he'd tell him a thing or two about cooking." Tom evidently talked about me to the nurse, she asked him, "what does she do?" He showed her my picture sitting in on my king sized knitted bed spread, in one of my over 100 knit dresses and said, "This is what she does!" After I had been there one day, he asked the nurse, "If she saw his beautiful wife?" Now you see, how sick he really was, except, when you really love some one they never look old to you.

Rosemarie and I went to visit him, I took hold of one hand and she took hold of his other hand and the tears ran down his face. Tommy said, "that it was enough to make him cry." but Tom wasn't sentimental, it was the treatment on his head that caused this sudden change. They were going to move him to a rehab. but Tommy said no, we'll take him home and see what we can do. The doctor was hesitant that we could handle it, so they sent a therapist and a visiting nurse. We didn't need either one, but the nurse took his vital signs and kept track of how we were handling it. He had said, "If I could get to my home, some decent food and see my puppy, I'd get well!" He was glad to get home alright. I cooked him some chicken and dumplings, one of his favorites, but even so, he asked if he could cook from the wheel chair!

After he went to the hospital, he never took another step without the walker. He would answer you rationally when you talked to him, but he never started a conversation, just stared with glassy eyes. I said, "Do you know me?" He said, "Yes! You're my soul mate!" Then he started attempting to do things he couldn't and fell in the bedroom. I couldn't help him up and he didn't show any signs of helping himself, so I called Tommy and he said, "I'm on my way!" He pulled on to the freeway and it was backed up for a mile. He thought, I can't get stuck in this traffic, he got in the emergency lane and gave it the gas. He had already rehearsed what he was going to say if a cop tried to stop him, "my Dad had a heart attack and he's on the floor, so lead the way!" but where is a cop when you need them? He made it home and in no more than 5 minutes. After that Tommy stayed at night and he saw Tom fall for the first time. That put a whole new light on the subject. He knew, we were not helping him, just hurting him keeping him at home. Tommy said, "You tell him, I can't." I sat down by Tom and held his hand and said, "We are going to take you back to the hospital where you can get some help, we can't give you what you need." He asked whose idea it was, I crossed my fingers and said, "The Doctors." Tommy sent for the ambulance and Tom didn't argue. He had enough sense to know he needed help. As they took him out the front door I said, "Good bye, Daddy!" He said, "You be good!" That was a figure of speech, that is one thing we never either one ever had to worry about, was the other not being good.

His father and brothers lost their hair young, but Tom for some reason didn't and now the treatment on his head made him completely bald. While he was home I put a wig on him, looked better and kept his head warm. In the hospital he wore caps I had knit him.

His cancer in his lungs had spread to his head, didn't seem too hopeful, because they evidently couldn't give him anymore radiation. I think it's a big mistake to tell a person how long they have to live, but Tom said he wanted to know. He lost heart and gave up and thought of nothing else, he didn't believe it. Why not enjoy what you have left, he thought he was brave enough to take it. He wasn't getting any treatments and not eating so, they moved him to a rehabilitation. I went to see him there, he wasn't with it until I started to leave, he said, "I love you and don't you ever forget it!" That's the last thing he ever said to me. The last time I ever saw him alive.

When they took him to the rehab. they were discussing with Tommy, where they were going to get their money. He was pretty put out with their accusations. They asked him, "If he had Power of Attorney?" He said, "They have a 7 room home in LaCanada, fully paid for, is that enough collateral to suit you?" I guess they wondered why Tommy was in charge, they ask about my condition and mind. He said, "You wouldn't believe her mind." They didn't need to worry, he was only there a few days.

They called Tommy, "He was sinking fast." Tommy literally flew over there. Tommy took a hold of Tom's hand, Tom sighed and he was gone. Tommy came over and sat down beside me without saying a word and took hold of my hand. I looked at him and tears were streaming down his face. I said, "Is he gone?" He nodded, and he cried and couldn't stop for days, every time Daddy was mentioned. I don't mean a few tears, I mean buckets full. I had never seen a man cry like that before. People show their grief in different ways. I couldn't cry, not a drop. I was stunned and hurt. I had asked to die first, I was five years older than him, now I had out lived him. That's not the way it was supposed to happen. First Rosemarie said, "She was so proud of the way I was handling it." Then I really believe she thought I was callous. He didn't make me cry for 45 years, so, why would he make me cry now? I wouldn't take anything for that six weeks I had him home. I never let on one time, I didn't think he'd make it, if you want to call that callous, then I'm guilty.

The reason I stressed the point of when this was written, was because you can say a lot of things after they are gone, that you should have said and didn't. Not in my case, he was very much among the living when this was written (up to now). If I have repeated myself, forgive me. It's almost impossible to keep it all in sequence, your mind doesn't work that way, it drifts in and out - back and forth.

Tommy and I went to the funeral home to make the last arrangements, it wasn't too hard because I knew it was what he wanted. Tommy and Melissa (his wife), Rosemarie, Claudia & Ryan, her oldest Grandson, went with me to the "slumber room" to view him. I walked up to the casket and he looked so well and contented, I said, "Wake up, Daddy, and speak to me." All that pain and suffering was gone from his face and I felt good about it. I asked Claudia if she would like to give the eulogy, she said she wanted to. We didn't discuss it, it was her own words. I know when she saw that room of mourner's and the closeness she had to her, Daddy Tom, as she always called him, it was about all she could take. She apologized for it. I said, "Sweetheart, it wouldn't have been the same if you hadn't had any feelings. I was proud of you with the burden you were carrying." It was mutual, he was equally fond of her. I didn't get a chance to ask any of you if you wanted to say anything, as you didn't get to the slumber room the night before. I thought if the minister asked if anyone wanted to say anything and no one came forward without warning, would look bad on Tom's behalf. I wanted to say something, I went over it and over it, but I was afraid I couldn't, it was too new and close to me. They had taken Tom's ring off to transport him, so, after not having it off once in 45 years, Tommy put it back on him. I knew Tom wouldn't have it any other way.

I was glad Lee (Hyde) could have you guys after coming so far, but I just couldn't. My family came by the house to get a drink of water and decide where to go for lunch, no plans had been made. I didn't want anybody with me after the funeral, nor that night, trying to cheer me and pretend it didn't happen, because it did happen and I wanted to think about it by myself.

This is so hard for me to write, my penmanship is a lost art, at this point. I knew it was going to be rough, but Tom had taught me a lot of things over the years I had for comfort. You can't bring "him" back with tears or a shovel. I have his picture on the table by my chair, I look at it 100 times a day, I talk to it and I have even been known to kiss it. This has been hard to write, especially, after his death. So, l keep writing, it keeps me close to that "man"!

Rae and Lee both ask me, "If I was eating properly, which I wasn't. I had exactly no appetite, but I finally decided Tom wouldn't approve of my not taking care of myself, not keeping the place up, where we had worked so hard to retire in. If I didn't, I'd have to make other arrangements for shelter. I wouldn't want that for a minute, nor would I want anybody to live with me.

I hesitated to wait until Christmas to tell Edison Charles of Tom's passing. It's hardly the news you expect to get with your greetings. I sent one of those Obituary Notices and a short note, telling him about Tom's illness and passing. I mailed it on the 29th of November. Then I got a letter from his wife, Doris, telling me of Edison's passing, post marked the same day. The two letters had passed in the mail. They were both 80 years old, 1 month apart and their deaths were 2 months apart. I didn't know all these years, Charles, was his sir name, and he didn't know Tom had any other name than Smith.

I was sorry to hear of Ernie's passing. I guess it was to be expected, but he seemed so chipper at the funeral when he talked to me. I'm glad they got to see each other in the hospital. (Maybe they're together now!)

When Tom was on his near deathbed, he told Tommy to get a wheel chair for me, that the parking lot was too far for me to walk. Always looking after me to the bitter end. I was thankful that Edison and Tom didn't either one have to be saddened by the other's passing, when they were both ill. I hope now they are some comfort to each other, somehow! I'm having trouble getting into the holiday spirit, so soon after Tom's passing. A regular Scrooge, I am! I didn't want any decorations. Tommy doesn't agree with me, he says, "Your celebrating Christ's birthday, not Tom's passing in disrespect!"

Why was it written.

I don't write for critics, it's an ego trip. I wrote because it's about my family and my beloved husband. I wrote my autobiography 8 years ago and I have been writing every since.

I can't believe this is happening. I look at the couch time after time, where he laid that last six weeks. I know he isn't there, but he should be. When everything was going wrong, I got afraid I couldn't finish my writing. Tom said, "Beethoven’s unfinished symphony was the greatest of all!" I'm not sure I can or even want to go on without him, but I can't help but wonder "If Adrian's life has been as happy as mine has been?"

When we were shopping for our new home, we wanted modern, but not to extent the eating area was part of family room. That was one thing that kept us so undecided, with all the dining room furniture we had, buffet, side board, china closet and tea card with needle point chairs. Rosemarie, Tom and I had made and all that china. Don't laugh, he beaded me an evening blouse and smocked little rompers for Tommy when he was six months old. Besides we enjoyed entertaining in the dining room style. We saw a possibility of making the breezeway into a dining room. One side of it was the kitchen, the other the garage. It already had a cathedral ceiling with beams and a cement floor. That was a dream of the past. Tom got that 106 degree fever, just four months after we moved here. He was in the hospital all of March and April Rosemarie and her family came from Colorado Springs on their vacation in August and we ate in our new dining room. Tom put in the flooring, closed in the street side half way up with red brick and the rest up to the ceiling with glass, then he enclosed the patio side with sliding glass doors. The light switch was on the kitchen side wall, so, Tom put in brass chain swag up to the high ceiling and dropped it down with a 5 candle crystal chandelier over the table. Rosemarie said, "Daddy can make anything from a 6 inch box, to a 10 x 16 ft. room. (Take a bow!)

He wasn't a feminineness (sic), even tho' he could cook and sew, he was no slouch at painting, landscaping, gardening, raising his own plants with seed from last years plants and decorating. I'm sure he learned from his mom. He did our canning. Last year he said, "I don't think I'll can anymore (and he didn't)."

I know now he had a premonition of what wasn't too far away, by getting the Living Trust, cemetery plots and funeral arrangements, after all these years. These things just six months before he took so desperately ill. He had said, "a heart attack was the way to go!" but he didn't have anything to say about it. When I told him, "he couldn't leave me." He said, "I don't intend to, we'll go together." Tommy heard him and said, "I don't want to hear any of that suicide stuff, you'll go to Hell you know!" But Tom didn't mean that, just wishful thinking. (I rest my case!) Table this conversation (Discussion) for a later date! It's one thing to never had anyone than to have lost, it's painful and brutal. Now that I'm a shut-in, I can't think of a better example, "What goes around, comes around!"

There's a Christmas Tree in a box in the garage rafters, too. I don't think it inspired the poem "I think that I will never see a poem as lovely as a tree." There's something missing here, just like when they told me there wasn't any Santa Claus.

Just give it and taketh away. I'll never forget the feeling in his eyes the last time I kissed him in that rehab., I didn't know it was the last when he said, "I love you and don't you ever forget it!"

I could go on and on, but I think I'll quit while I'm ahead. This is supposed to be Tom’s life, not mine!

Jack, I'm not very proud of this, I should have taken more time and patience, I have found out lately, don't put anything off. I was trying to get it ready for Christmas and it wasn't easy at the best. I had to wait until I got your new address.

You lost all 3 of them (siblings), and I know you're hurting. Hope this will give you some comfort.

Love,

Wilma