Dog Review
------------
A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre.  She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was really into the movie.  He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts.  Did you find that unusual??"
"Yes," she replied, "I found it very unusual ...because he hated the book!"
~~~~~~~~~

New Employee Travel Policy

Due to the budget constraints, the following policies are announced regarding employees traveling on official business.  These policies are EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY:

LODGING:
All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on business.  If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites.  Bus terminals, train stations and office lobbies may also provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.

TRANSPORTATION:
Hitch-hiking is the preferred mode of travel, in lieu of commercial transport.  Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their departure on such travel. Airline tickets will only be authorized in extreme circumstances and
the lowest fares will be used.  For example, if a meeting is scheduled in Seattle, but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, the travel to Detroit will be substituted for travel to Seattle.

MEALS:
Expenditures for meals will be limited to an absolute minimum.  It should be noted that certain grocery and specialty chains, such as Hickory Farms, General Nutrition Centers, and Costco Club stores often provide free samples of promotional items.  Entire meals can be obtained in this manner.  Travelers should also become familiar with indigenous roots, berries, and other protein sources available at their destination.  If restaurants must be utilized, travelers should utilize all you can eat salad bars.  This is especially effective for employees traveling together - as one plate can be used to feed the entire group. Employees are also encouraged to bring their own food on official
travel.  Cans of tuna, Spam and Beefaroni can be consumed at your leisure without the unnecessary bother of heating or costly preparation. 

MISCELLANEOUS:
All employees are encouraged to devise innovative techniques in an effort to save our budget dollars.  One enterprising individual has already suggested that money could be raised during airport layover period, which could be used to defray expenses.  In support of this idea, red caps will be issued to all employees prior to their departure, so that they may earn tips by helping other travelers with their luggage.  Ball point pens will also be made available to employees so that sales may be made, as time permits.

FEEDBACK:
As always senior management is interested in your feedback on these proposals.  Please e-mail them to head office and they will be carefully reviewed after we return from the senior management motivational retreat in Italy.
~~~~~~~~ 

The Famous Joke of the Day One Liner!
 Nearly every man is a firm believer in heredity until his son makes a fool of himself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL...
     Changing the World One Story at a Time
     You Can Do Anything
                  By Tina Karratti

     Many years ago, my dad was diagnosed with a terminal heart condition.  He was put on permanent disability and was unable to work at a steady job.  He would be fine for quite a while, but would then fall suddenly ill and have to  be admitted to the hospital. 
     He wanted to do something to keep himself busy, so he decided to volunteer at the local children's hospital.  My dad loved kids.  It was the perfect job for him.  He ended up working with the terminally and critically ill children. He would talk to them and play with them and do arts and crafts with them.  Sometimes, he would lose one of his kids.  In certain instances, he would tell the grieving parents of these children that he would soon be with their
child in heaven and that he would take care of them until they got there.  He would also ask the parent if there was a message they would like to send with him for their child.
     My dad's assurances seemed to help parents with their grieving. One of his kids was a girl who had been admitted with a rare disease that paralyzed her from the neck down.  I don't know the name of the disease or what the prognosis usually is, but I do know that it was very sad for a girl around eight or nine years old.  She couldn't do anything, and she was very depressed.  My dad decided to try to help her.  He started visiting her in her room, bringing paints, brushes and paper.  He stood the paper up against a backing, put the paintbrush in his mouth and began to paint.  He didn't use his hands at all.  Only his head would move.  He would visit her whenever he could and paint for her.  All the while he would tell her, "See, you can do  anything you set your mind to."
     Eventually, she began to paint using her mouth, and she and my dad became friends.  Soon after, the little girl was discharged because the doctors felt there was nothing else they could do for her.  My dad also left the children's hospital for a little while because he became ill.  Sometime later after my dad had recovered and returned to work, he was at the volunteer counter in the lobby of the hospital.  He noticed the front doors open.  In came the little girl who had been paralyzed, only this time she was walking.  She ran straight over to my dad and hugged him really tight.  She gave my dad a picture she had done using her hands.  At the bottom it read, "Thank you  for helping me walk."
     My dad would cry every time he told us this story and so would we.  He would say sometimes love is more powerful than doctors, and my dad ? who died just a few months after the little girl gave him the picture ? loved every single child in that hospital.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<*}:o)

"By the time you are old enough to know
that your parents were right, you have
children of your own that think you are wrong."
--- Anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    doris40@aeroinc.net  (Doris Mathis)
Reply-to:    OH-MEMORIES-L@rootsweb.com 
To:    OH-MEMORIES-L@rootsweb.com

Computers 101
Q:
My friend sent me an email attachment but I could not open it.

A:
Nothing worse than getting a file from a friend and you don't have the right program to open it. Here are some common file extensions and the programs needed to open:

.doc - Microsoft Word
.pps - MS PowerPoint
.xls - MS Excel worksheet
.wpd - Corel WordPerfect
.pdf - Adobe Acrobat
.jpg - JPEG graphic file
.zip - Zip (compressed) file
.sit - Stuffit (compressed) file

The good news is that most software developers offer freeware viewers that will allow you to see, but not alter, content. NOTE: These addresses are long, so you may need to copy and paste into your browser if it breaks into more than one line.

.doc - Microsoft Word Viewer


.pps - PowerPoint Viewer

.xls - Excel Spreadsheet Viewer
http://office.microsoft.com/downloads/2000/xlviewer.aspx 

.wpd - Wordperfect
Corel no longer offers a viewer

.pdf - Acrobat Reader
http://www.adobe.com/products/acrobat/readstep2.html 

.jpg - You can view these in your web browser or most imaging software.

As for compressed files (.zip & .sit), you can Stuffit! No, I'm not telling you off...Stuffit Expander is a great program that will open most compressed files.
http://www.stuffit.com/expander/ 

There are also a million freeware/shareware programs for opening .zip files such as WinZip. http://www.winzip.com 

In addition, Windows XP has its own built in unzip program.

So, next time you get an attached file in your email but don't have the program to open it, just grab a viewer.

~ David

Have a question for the newsletter? Submit it at the link below:
http://www.worldstart.com/submitquestion.htm 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   doris40@aeroinc.net  (Doris Mathis)
Reply-to:    OH-MEMORIES-L@rootsweb.com 
To:    OH-MEMORIES-L@rootsweb.com

Amanda's Cool Site of the Day Strange Facts

One of my favorite sites on the net is Strange Facts. I have a love for the curious and unusual and this site has it, and it's factual. You can read strange facts that were featured in USA Today, and the Chicago Times, not to mention a huge "As Seen on TV" section.

Here are a few strange facts to wet your appetite:

"Saturday mail delivery in Canada was eliminated by Canada Post on February 1, 1969!"
"The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache on a standard playing card."
"Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult."

http://www.strangefacts.com/ 

Do you have a cool, non-commercial site that you want to share?
Send it to Amanda at amanda@worldstart.com 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
lguffy@sctelcom.net  (Lois Guffy)
Reply-to:    OH-MEMORIES-L@rootsweb.com 
To:    OH-MEMORIES-L@rootsweb.com

Handy Hints - Unique Ice Pack  
A neat and "very cool" way to apply a cold pack to bumps and bruises is to make your own. Fill a latex glove with water to just below the wrist area. Add a little rubbing alcohol to the
glove. Seal with a rubber band, twist tie, or anything else that will prevent leaking. Place in the freezer for a few hours. The water will not freeze totally and will conform to areas that a rigid ice pack can't. Kids love this because it's unique and don't mind having an ice pack on when they might otherwise object...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
clownswclass@triton.net  (Clowns With Class)
Reply-to:    OH-MEMORIES-L@rootsweb.com 
To:    OH-MEMORIES-L@rootsweb.com

Ration-al Thinking
By JONATHAN REYNOLDS

If you're in the mood for a rib-sticking, soul-satisfying, nearly home-cooked meal -- say, a hearty New England clam chowder followed by seafood jambalaya, green beans on the side, almond poppy-seed cake washed down with cappuccino, accompanied by a handful of dried cranberries -- I know where you can get it, and in the largest quantities imaginable.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Recipes for Today
clownswclass@triton.net  (Clowns With Class)
Reply-to:    OH-MEMORIES-L@rootsweb.com 
To:    OH-MEMORIES-L@rootsweb.com

1/4    cup margarine
1/4    cup flour
2    cups milk
1    can salmon, drained & clear of all small bones
1    cup frozen peas
   salt & pepper
2/3    cup onions

1.  Melt margarine in saucepan, Add flour and milk for your basic white sauce.
2.  Then add your frozen peas& salmon and onions.
3.  Stir until creamy: Salt& Pepper to taste> Also if desired you can add some Dill, Garlic, or even bacon bites just to give that white sauce a little more flavor.
4.  You can serve this over rice, toast or pasta~ make it a meal!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    clownswclass@triton.net  (Clowns With Class)
Reply-to:    OH-MEMORIES-L@rootsweb.com 
To:    OH-MEMORIES-L@rootsweb.com

D I A B E T I C   P I C K
Chocolate Éclair Dessert

Serves 18

Diabetic Exchange = 1 bread/starch, 1/4 milk

24 low-fat graham crackers
2 small sugar free vanilla instant pudding
3 cups skim milk
1 (12 oz) fat-free Cool Whip
1 small sugar-free chocolate. instant pudding
1 1/2 cups skim milk

Place 8 crackers in bottom of 13x9 in. pan. (double cracker) mix vanilla pudding and 3 cups milk; let set 2 minutes. Gently fold in cool whip pour half on graham crackers. Top with another layer of crackers. pour remaining pudding over crackers. Top with last 8 crackers. Mix the small chocolate instant pudding with 1/1/2 cups milk let set 2 minutes spread  over top layer of crackers. Chill 6 hours or overnight to soften crackers. <*};o)
"As I said before, I never repeat myself."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
clownswclass@triton.net (Clowns With Class)
Reply-to:    OH-MEMORIES-L@rootsweb.com 
To:    OH-MEMORIES-L@rootsweb.com

Aztec Black Beans -

1 pound dried black beans
16 ounce jar salsa (your favorite)

Rinse beans, removing any foreign objects. Place in a large bowl and cover with water. Allow to soak at room temperature overnight.

Drain beans and place in a crockpot with the salsa and stir. Add enough water to just cover the beans. Cover and cook on low all day, 8-10 hours. Makes 10-12 side dish servings or 6-8 main dish servings. 
Freezes well.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

clownswclass@triton.net  (Clowns With Class)
Reply-to:    OH-MEMORIES-L@rootsweb.com 
To:    OH-MEMORIES-L@rootsweb.com

Graham Cracker Brittle -

graham crackers
1 stick butter
1 c. packed brown sugar
1 c. chopped nuts

Butter a cookie sheet with sides and lay out whole grahams.   In pan, melt butter and add brown sugar.  Bring to boil.  Add nuts and cook for 1 1/2 minutes.  Spread over grahams.  Heat in 350 oven for 10 minutes.  Break apart when cool.

Clown's version:
I had cinnamon grahams and used them
I used margarine
I used whole peanuts

I followed the directions for the original recipe.  I found that it is difficult to spread the sugar mixture on the grahams.  I made sure each cracker had a spoonful in an even amount, and spread as well as I could.  I baked it 8 minutes, checked - and saw the sugar mixture was bubbly and moving - so I used the back of the spoon to spread it better.  Then I baked another 2-3 minutes.

It was fabulous!!  The kids just gobbled it down!  I found that 2 batches used a whole box of grahams.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~