My Life in Salcito, Italy
and
The United States
Written by Clementina (D'Alisera) Tateo
(Circa 1974)
Contributed by her grandchildren:
Caroline Laquidara
and
Joseph Lavista
Date Last Updated: 03/08/2008
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My life in Salcito, Italy
And
The United States
I was born in Salcito, Italy on November 15, 1899. When I was born I had two brothers, Frank who was 6 years old and Celestino who was 3 years old. My mother, Mary and my father, Joseph lived in this small town of a population of about 800 people.
We were farmers worked in the field and raised cows, pigs, sheep and chickens. We had no toilet or water in the house.
I was born nine years after they were married. When I was about 3 years old I remember a lot of busy people in and out of the house. They were weaving and sewing, preparing for a wedding. It was my father's sister getting married. But I was so small I thought it was my mother's wedding.
It was in the winter, I was sitting in a potty chair near the open fire place. While everyone was busy no one paid attention to me, only one of the seamstresses would come and kiss me once in a while; saying that I was a pretty baby. The next morning I woke up from my crib with a swollen eye. No one knew what happened to me. They called the doctor, gave me some medication for a week, but my eye got worse, not better. My mother and father decided to take me to the city to see a specialist. My parents stood in that city for two days. The doctor thought that a spark from the fireplace might have gotten in my eye. A scar was left in the eye after so many treatments.
My poor father and mother had a difficult time getting me to the city to see the specialist. There were no cars or trains; he had to go on horseback. It was two days to get there and we had to pass a large river which was not too deep. But the night before it rained very hard and it was overflowing. He went up and down the river. We took our clothes to the brook and wash them there and dry them on the bushes.
When I was 3 years old my sister Clorinda was born. She was a very pretty child with big black eyes. And three years later my brother Nicholas was born. We were now five children (Frank, Celestino, myself (Clementina), Clorinda and Nicholas) and grandparents all living together.
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My parents continued working in the fields and raising animals. We had no money so we would trade food for groceries or whatever was needed. I remember when we started school to get a pencil or writing book we would bring to the store eggs, or wheat or corn in exchange for whatever we needed in the store. On holidays vendors would come to the town and sell goodies. We had no money so we exchanged food for those goodies.
Salcito was a small town surrounded by big mountains. The climate was very good, but very cold in the winter.
One winter day we had a big fire burning in the fireplace. They would put a tripod in the open fire and cook there. There was no gas or electric, just a kerosene lamp. So while the fire was burning, my mother put a kettle of beans to cook for supper. My mother went to the stall to feed the animals and left my little sister, Clorinda with my grandmother. She was playing with another little girl her age. This other girl suggested to my sister “why don't we get some of those beans that are cooking in the fireplace”. My sister said “alright”, and they went to the fireplace and tried to open the pot with beans. They did not notice that my sister's dress caught fire and when they did they began to scream. My grandmother ran to help and did not know what to do; she was confused. It was the month of February and there was snow on the ground; she opened the door of the house and threw her in the snow, thinking the snow would put out the fire. Instead the burning dress pressed on her thigh and burned her badly.
The doctor came every day for months but the leg was badly scarred and the nerves in her leg were drawn so that she walked one leg up and one on her knee. After treating her for seven months, the doctor said there was nothing else he could do for her.
In the meantime, a wealthy cousin who lived in Rome came to visit us and wanted to know what happened to my sister. My mother told him what happened. He said: “Tomorrow I am leaving for Rome. Get her ready and you both come with me; we will put her in a hospital and see what they can do for her.”
The next day they left. My uncle owned a chain of coaches; they were the taxis in those days and he had men driving them.
The doctors examined my sister, Clorinda, and told my mother that she would have to leave her there for a long time. My uncle told my mother to leave her there and he would see that she got good care. My mother returned home to the other children and her work.
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The fields had to be toiled, the animals had to be fed and cared for. We lived three miles away from the house on the farm. My mother would get up early in the morning, and cook the food for lunch and supper. She would then carry the food in the crib with the baby on her head the three miles and then work there all day until sundown and come home on foot again. The horse would carry wood for the fire and vegetables picked in the field. She would come home, make supper for the rest of the family and then do the same thing the next day. She had a very hard life. After working all day she would come home in the dark, cook polenta or vegetables picked from the field and go to bed. Then get up early in the morning again.
Every week she would stay home one day to do her baking and laundry. To wash clothes she had to go to the brook that was about a mile away. I would love that day because I would splash in the water and help my mother with the wash. And also I would help anyone who came there to wash their clothes and play with other children.
In 1903 there was an election in the town and my father was for a certain party that I do not remember. There was a lot of arguing going on in the town for the candidates. My father would not agree to vote for a certain party; so that night they did some spite work and burned out the farm house where we kept the animals. The farm house was three miles away from the town and the cries of the animals were heard a mile away; but no one was there to let them out. It was a great disaster for my family. No one would say who did it and we lost everything.
Everyday my mother and father had to work harder to feed the rest of the animals and the family. Every morning they would leave earlier than before. My mother would feed the pigs and chickens and them would go to the field.
One day she said to me after school “come to the field and help and then we will come home together.” It was a long distance to go alone to the fields; it was a long walk and very hot. When I was half way there the roads were very narrow and branches were covering half the road. I was running to get there fast; all of a sudden a viper snake was across the road. I threw a stone to get it move but it stayed and would not budge. I waited a long time, tried every way to pass but could not. At last I turned back and went home. My mother was worried why I did not get there. When she came home at night she punished me and said she did not believe what I said.
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Another night coming home from the field with my parents, I was sitting on the horse and bundles of wood were on the other side of the horse. I was playing with the branches of a tree when a big black snake reached out for my hand. Even the horse got scared and started to run. I was always afraid of snakes because my grandfather told me the story of when he went hunting one day and saw a nest of snakes. He took his rifle and shot in the nest of snakes. Suddenly all the snakes started after him. He was so frightened he had to jump a high wall to lose them, and had heart trouble since then.
At the age of 7 I had to knit my own stockings. My mother would measure every morning how much I would knit, because I would rather jump rope or play than knit. You could not buy shoes in the store, they had to be made to order. We would get about one pair a year because the bottoms of the shoes were all big nails like thumb tacks and they would last a long time.
One day my neighbor asked me and her grandson if we would go to the farm and pick fava beans so she could cook them for supper. We were both small, about 7 years old, and did not think much of going three miles one way and three miles coming back. As we got to the farm a big storm came with thunder and lightening. We were so frightened but continued to pick the beans; we dared not go home without them. But coming home was so bad, the roads were nothing but mud. Every few steps we had to clean our shoes, we could not walk. It took us many hours to get home and it was dark and we were soaked. The neighbor begged us not to tell my mother, and she dried our clothes in the fireplace.
After seven months my sister, who had been in the hospital for the burn, was ready to come home. She had been in traction for all this time and every day they stretched the muscles a little. Now she was able to walk standing up just limping a little. We were all so happy, and the relatives had taken good care of her when she was in the hospital. They got so attached to her that they wanted to adopt her; but my mother wanted her home.
Even I was liked by a neighbor who called me everyday. She was a mid-wife with no children, no husband and I would run errands for her. Every day she would have some lunch for me while my mother was at the fields. She always said –“why don't you give me this little girl, let me adopt her and when I die she will inherit everything I have.” But my mother would not hear of it.
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We did not have much to eat, it was always polenta or home made noodles because we had plenty of flour or cornmeal from our fields. Mother would cook potatoes in the morning and we would share them with the animals; that would be our breakfast. No juice or toast; sometime we would dip some bread in a little wine. The milk from the animals and the eggs from the chickens were for sale to support the family and pay taxes.
Things got so bad that my father decided to come to America, make some money, and then come back to Italy so he could buy some livestock again. But when he came to America, things were bad here in 1905. There were no jobs and very bitter winters. Every day he went out for work and came home with nothing. He was living with an aunt of mine who was here two years before he came. His board was only two dollars a week - food and board, and she told him not to be discouraged, sooner or later he would find something.
After a few months he found some work digging sewers and highways and he was paid a dollar a day; he thought this was great. After working a few months and sending my mother some money he moved in with a couple. They begged him to live with them. This couple liked to drink and play cards and every weekend they would win most of his salary. He stopped sending my mother money because he had none. I remember my mother crying all the time; she could not understand what happened to him. He was ashamed to write.
Then one day my mother received a letter from this aunt that he had been living with before and she said "Mary", that was my mother's name, "if you want to see your husband again you must come to America, or you will not see your husband again. These people that he is living with take every penny he earns, and he is fooling around with her." After this letter my mother cried for weeks. She said how can I go to America with no money, no clothes; and besides, she said, I will take my five children and bury them at sea -- because at that time the boats took about twenty days to get here. So my mother said I have to find a way to get there.
She opened a trunk that she kept all her dresses and things she treasured. She had many dresses that she had when she got married and did not have the chance to wear them. She took these dresses to the dressmaker and had dresses made for us two girls and three boys suits. She sold all the crops, beans, corn, wheat, wine for that season. She sold some furniture and pots and pans, and raised enough money to come to America. The price of the ship was $20 dollars for my mother and $15 for the children over ten, and three of us $10 for under ten years of age. So my mother decided to see this woman who made her life miserable -- when I get to America, I am going to strangle her for taking my husband, and the bread from my children.
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We had never been out of the town of Salcito, and my mother did not know how to go about coming to America. So, she got a man who used to travel a lot and he agreed, for a sum of money, that he would accompany us until we got on the ship.
So, we left for Naples; but before we left another thing happened. One of our neighbors had a grandson, around 12 years old, that was pretty bad. His mother had come to America and left him with his grandmother, and he was driving her crazy; he would fight with everyone. She begged my mother to take charge of him to get to the United States. Because he was under age he had to have someone in charge for him to come to the USA. My mother felt sorry for the grandmother and said that she would take him. She said she had 5 children and one more will not hurt for only a few weeks -- his name was Domenick.
We left Salcito on November 2, 1909 with this guide. It was the first time that we were out of our town and we were very excited. We went to one of the cities called Compobasso and then headed for Naples. Us children and never seen a train before. We arrived two days before the ship would leave, so with our guide we toured Naples. It was really beautiful, the big buildings, the ocean, so many stores and people, it was so exciting.
On November 6, 1909 we boarded on the ship “Madonna” we were in the third class down on the ship; with all bunk beds one on top of the other. There was very little light -- once in a while you would see a little light from over our window. The sea was so rough and would block the little light that came in. It was one large room; all the women and children slept there. The men would all be in the other end of the ship in another large room. My two older brothers and the guest (Domenick) my mother took with us had to sleep at the other end of the ship with all the men.
We were all sea sick and could not eat anything. There were no tables or chairs. We had to sit on the floor to eat out of tin dishes and utensils that were distributed to us. One head of the family would go for the food. Domenick was the only boy not sick and he would go around helping everyone. He would carry my brothers back and forth from their end of the ship to the other end every morning and night. Domenick would go for the food but none of us could eat because we were so sick. People would be throwing up and crying because they were afraid they would never get to America.
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There was a scuttle where we went up on top deck for air. At night they would nail that scuttle down so water would not come down. The smell of disinfectant was making us more sick. The ship was shaking so bad from one side to the other and all the tin dishes would slide from side to side. There was no place to store them and everyone kept them under their bed. My little brother Nicola wanted to know why all the people were crying. So not to scare him my mother would say they are crying because their dishes are going back and forth in the room.
Every morning we had to get up, even if you were so sea sick, and go up on the deck of the ship so that they would be able to clean and disinfect the room.
My mother asked if she could buy some food that she thought might give us an appetite because every day they served the same kind of pasta or beans. So they suggested a piece of steak and would bring something good to drink. They brought some pieces of beef and a bottle of beer. We had never tasted beer and my mother thought that he had poisoned her and threw away the beer. We felt no better.
We were about 20 days at sea and on this last day, the sea was a little calmer. Everyone felt a little better because they knew that the trip was over. My mother was so thankful to god. She thought she had brought her five children to die at sea.
In New York harbor everyone was happy to see the Statue of Liberty. We could not understand what that woman was doing in the middle of the sea. We disembarked and were taken to Ellis Island.
First we had to pass an examination to see if we ad any disease. Everyone was taken to a different room and they examined your head, your eyes, chest and a complete physical. We all came out clean. Only the boy Domenick was never coming out. We were all afraid because if something would be found wrong with him they would send us all back to Italy. After a couple of hours Domenick came out; the doctor said he had some sores on his head and had to be checked out. But the boy did not tell us the truth. His mother and father in Italy were nicknamed short legs. So he said you are the son of short legs, we have to measure your legs. He was lying; it was his head they examined. But it was nothing serious and they let him go.
My father came to pick us up but we could not leave until the parents of Domenick came to pick him up. My mother had to stay because he was in trust of her. So we had to stay overnight for one night at Ellis Island. The next morning his mother came, and my father, and we left.
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The day we arrived in New York was the 23rd of November and it was Thanksgiving Day. My father said it was the holiday of chickens because we did not know what a turkey was. All we could say was what a country this is; they even celebrate the chickens.
We could not believe all those big buildings and going in the subway uptown to the Bronx. We got off at 149th Street and Third Avenue and walked up to 152nd Street. There we stopped in front of a big building. My father said, here is where we are going to live. I was shocked --- I thought my father had no money so how is it he got this big house? I did not know that many people lived there also. I thought it was all ours. We walked in on the ground floor, he opened the rooms - there were three small rooms. Only a table in the kitchen and a few chairs, no living room, two bedrooms - one with a large bed and the other with two big cots, one small, and a couple of chairs. To me it was beautiful because when I opened the faucets one would have cold water and the other warm water. We had a toilet in the hall that was shared by other families. I was very happy there because we had hot water and every morning I would wash clothes.
My aunt, her name was Secondina, was living in the same building and she would go with my mother to shop for anything we needed. The woman that my father had been living with, also had been in the same building, but when we arrived in New York, she had been buried the day before; she must have been a sick woman. So my mother did not even get to meet her. Her husband became a good friend of ours, but my mother never found out if it was true what my aunt said about her.
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When I left Italy, I had already gone to school for 4 years and could read and write fairly well in Italian. In New York I was placed in an Industrial School for the poor. The teacher liked me and was really good to me. We got clothes from charities and day old bread and cakes from Tip Top and other bakeries, almost every day she would give me a loaf of bread or some cakes, and this was a delicacy for us. She would get clothes from the charities and ask me to help her sort them and anything I wanted she would give to me.
One month after we arrived in New York it was Christmas time and the teacher at school asked everyone what they wanted for Christmas. She would buy a gift for all the children from the five and ten cents store. I never forgot I asked for a necklace with a little heart which I treasured for a long time.
After one year that we were in this country my mother gave birth to a little girl, her name was Rose. My mother's health began to fail -- too much work for her and a big family.
We all worked hard trying to help. I remember in the winter we had a laundry right next door to where we lived. My brother and I would get up early every morning and go in the back of the laundry where they would clean out the boiler each morning. We would go through the ashes and pick all the coal that were half burned and fill up a couple of pails. Then my mother would have enough coal to burn for the day. In the afternoon, after school, we would go to the freight yard and pick up all the vegetable and fruit that they threw away because they were specked, and my mother would feed the family trying to get along with six children and not much income. My mother would also go with my aunt to the hospital twice a week and the nuns would give her a basket full of bread, cake, meat or fish. When she got home we would be looking forward to all those goodies, especially the cakes and cookies.
In 1914 another child was born, Anthony, but he was not a healthy baby. Every time he ate something that did not agree with him he would get a convulsion. Because he was the youngest, we all loved him.
When he was five years old he went to school. The school was pretty far from where we lived and he had to cross a wide street -- the concourse at 149th street. He would come home for lunch with my sister Rose who was going to the same school. One day when he came home for lunch he did not like what my mother had for lunch so he would not eat. My mother gave him a nickel to buy a frankfurter at the cart on 149th street. He bought the frankfurter and some boys started running after him to take it from him. He ran away not to give it to them and did not watch the cars coming. At that time there were no traffic lights at crossings. Usually a policeman was on the corner but at that
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hour he had arrested someone and was not there. This was the time he should have been there because of all the children going back to school. My little brother ran so fast and was hit by a car. He hit his head on the curb and was badly hurt. The driver ran away and none of the children took the license number. The driver was never found. My brother was rushed to the hospital in critical condition with a fractured skull. His head blew up like a balloon and the doctors said there was no hope for him. The next day, on May 21, 1914, he died.
From then on my mother got worse; she grieved over his death so much. She got worse every day and for a few months she went to the cemetery every day. As time passed she could not do much work. The doctor said her blood pressure was high. From carrying all those heavy loads on her head when she was younger one of the main arteries on her neck was stretched and enlarged. The doctor said she should take life easy because she was in danger of that blood vessel bursting and she could die immediately.
So at 14 I had to leave school and stay home to take care of the family. My brother frank got a better job in a piano factory and was making a little more money. My mother let the borders go. But to help out, besides taking care of the family I took in homework, doing little embroidery on children's dresses or cutting out embroidery scallops that paid $.10 for 100 yards. Then I worked on joining feathers for hats, making those long plumes that were in style. For all my work my mother would give me a nickel on Sunday to go to a movie and one penny for candy. I thought that this was great. Sometime I would get in the movie for nothing if accompanied by a grownup. We would ask if we could go in with them and save the nickel for the next time.
One day my aunt Secondina came to my mother and said, I have a young man boarded with me who likes your daughter Clementina. She said he would like to come up and speak to you, his name is Paul.
In the meantime, she asked me if I would go downtown with her to the doctor because she did not know how to speak in English. I agreed to go with her and after we came out of the doctors office she had planned to let me meet this young man. I did not know anything about this plan. When I saw him, I knew him because he had lived in her house, so I thought nothing of it. He took us for an ice cream soda and then we went in a shoe store and he insisted on buying me a pair of shoes. I did not want them but my aunt said come on, he means well. I said I don't think my mother is going to like this, but my aunt convinced me and I agreed. He bought me a pair of high-buttoned shoes that I had admired for a long time.
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He became friendly with my brothers and started to come up my house. I thought he was coming to see my brothers but it turned out he had come for me. Every time he came he would bring a little something for me. Then he spoke to my mother and father and asked if he could go steady with me. I said no, I am only 14 years old and I don't know what it is all about. In those days girls would get married young. My mother said to me -- he is a good man, has a good job (he was a contractor in a piano company and had five workers for himself), and was making about $22 a week. She said he comes from a very good family, what more do you want. Between my mother and my aunt they convinced me to give him a chance. I had never gone out with anyone else, I was too young to know what it was all about. I said to my mother, you know best, if you think that it is all right, I will do what ever you say. My father did not say much and my brothers did not like the idea; they thought I was too young.
Paul kept coming almost every night to the house, and I would be annoyed because I had no time for my friends. But he was generous and would bring me some little thing every time he came. I remember at Easter he brought me a basket made all of candy filled with chocolate eggs and on the basket was a little ring with a small diamond. It was an engagement ring; but I didn't even know that it was an engagement ring. I thought it was just a gift. After three or four months that he was coming to the house, he asked if we could get married. My mother said wait at least another year because she is too young. So they decided for us to get married only at city hall, and would not live together until we got married to church in another year.
During that year I had many proposals; they did not know that I was already married legally. There were other young men I liked better, but it was too late for me.
On February 13, 1916 we were married in the Catholic Church. We had a nice reception, rented a three room apartment in a cold water flat for $9.00 dollars a month. The toilet was in the hall shared by other tenants. We bought some nice second hand furniture and furnished our three rooms. The day after we were married, Paul went to work. No time off for a honeymoon, he was too busy at his work. I had some girlfriends and my family to keep me company.
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Right after we were married he changed; he was not the generous man that came to court me. He said we were to save money and I had to account for every penny I spent. He would leave me a dollar in the morning and I had to tell him what I spent the dollar for; mostly for food. But he was tight with the money, even for himself. But not for gambling! He got involved with some neighbors who were gamblers and he loved the games. I could not keep him home. He would go out Saturday afternoon, (he worked half days on Saturday), stay out all night Saturday and all day Sunday, and come home Monday morning to go back to work. He loved his work and would not miss a day. He would wash himself, have a cup of coffee and go to work. There was nothing I could do; my mother and my brothers spoke to him but he was addicted to this gambling. Most of the time he didn't even have a dollar to give me.
After we were married 20 months, a little girl was born to us. The sweetest little girl you could want. We named her Maria Gracia. Well I thought this might keep him home, but nothing could change his mind. He would come home depressed because he lost all his salary and would borrow more money from friends thinking he would win it back; but only lost more.
We moved to a different house because we bought a piano and it did not fit through the window. The house we were now living in was a 6-family house. Below us lived some friends that got us the apartment. I remember it was New Years Eve and my little girl, who we called grace, had the measles and a very high temperature. The baby was crying and I was crying because she was burning with fever. I had to wrap her in ice sheets to bring down the fever. My mother came to help me but could not stay because she was too sick. I pleaded with my husband to please stay home because I was afraid our little girl would die and I would be alone. But my begging did not help, so I decided to lock the door so he would not be able to go out, and I hid the key. He pleaded with me for a while, then he saw that I would not open the door, so he opened the window where the fire escape was and went down to the floor below to our friends. He left from their apartment and went out to his gambling friends. I remember that all the whistles were blowing at 12:00 o'clock and I was alone crying with my sick baby.
Paul came home the next day after lunch. I was too depressed to cook anything. My mother sent my sisters Clorinda and Rose over with cooked food. Paul went straight to bed. He was in a bad mood because he had lost quite a bit of money.
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By 1919 another daughter was born to us: a sweet little chubby girl born at home, the same as the first, with a midwife. I was a little disappointed, not because she was a girl but because she would go through the same pains as I did when she would get married and give birth. My sister and her friends went to the subway station that day to warn Paul that it was another girl. But when he came home, he took a look at the baby and was very happy that we were both fine.
After a year I went back to work because everyone was making money; the war was on. My mother took care of my children. Grace was 4 years old and Mary was 18 months. I was making a good salary working on the machine and sewing dresses. I kept all the money and Paul gave me some money too. And in three years we saved enough money to put a down payment on a house.
In 1924, a man that worked with Paul in the piano factory told us about this house for sale. At one time he was in real estate, and he thought this house was a good buy. He convinced us to buy the house, but the only discouragement was that it was an eight family house and all the apartments were eight rooms. One apartment had seven rooms. There was a very nice class of people living there; all professionals. It was a brick building with heat and hot water and two baths in each apartment.
We knew nothing about real estate but it seemed very nice to us. We borrowed some money from my mother because we did not have enough, and in 1924 we bought this house. We made the janitor leave to save expenses and did our own janitor work.
I agreed to buy this house mostly to take him out of that neighborhood and stop his gambling; it was pretty far from where we lived. For a while he went to his friends, but after a while there was too much work involved with the house, so he forgot his friends. I quit my job and stayed home to take care of the children and the house. There was a big furnace to take care of in the winter and I had to do this alone because Paul went to work. I had to shovel all the coal, clean the halls, take care of the tenants, and pay the bills.
It was a bad time to buy the house because there were too many vacancies. People kept moving from one place to another and moving out without paying their rents. The apartments were hard to rent because no one wanted eight rooms. Two families would live together but in two or three months they would move out. Then we had to repaint the apartment and give the new tenant a months free rent; and in a few months they would move out.
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The depression came and things got worse. Paul was out of work. He had worked in the piano factory for over 20 years but now people were not buying pianos; they had no money. So we decided to borrow some money from friends and the F.H.A. And try to make smaller apartments. All the tenants would have to move out for us to do this work. We only had two tenants left in the house and us.
Finally we began; we had plans drawn up, had estimates for the work that was to be done and in a few weeks contractors started working on the house. Labor was very cheap because a lot of people would work for little money since they could not find work. We got half way through the work and ran out of money to continue. The job was to take two months; instead it took eight months. We went to friends and relatives for money so we could finish the job. We slept in this house for six months without doors because we had no money to finish.
We paid a high interest but after eight months the apartments were ready. We had converted 8 apartments into 16 apartments. They were easy to rent and as time went by and we continued to do all the work around the house ourselves, we started paying all our debts. It took a long time but we did it. In about two years time the neighborhood changed from good to bad. My two girls were getting to be young ladies, so we decided to move. We put a janitor in to take care of the house, and Paul and I would go to work so the girls could finish school and we could finish to pay our debts. We moved into a big apartment house on the top floor. It had 5 large rooms for only $43 a month.
Grace graduated high school in 1936 and went to work in Sacks furniture house for $12 a week. At first she worked where I worked for $10 a week and then she went to Sacks furniture store. In the meantime she started to go out with young men. She met Pat Lavista and they kept company for about three years. They were married on March 23, 1941 and lived a few blocks away from where we lived.
Mary graduated high school in 1937 and went to work also. Both girls helped us to get on our feet. Mary began dating at 18 years old and met a young man named Lou Gemmola at a dance. In One year she was also married.
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My brother Frank and his wife Helen
Her father had to go on another job in Binghamton but she had to stay in New York because my brother had a job here. We promised her mother we would be near by if she needed any help. At that time I was expecting my first child. We got along fine; every day we would see each other, we only lived two blocks away from each other. But after her first baby, a girl named Mary after my mother, was born, she became very sick with pains all over her body. We did not know what was wrong with her, the doctor said it was rheumatic pains. He gave her medication but it did not help. My brother could not stay home because they needed the money. At that time I had taken a job sewing dresses on the machine trying to better our lives. I took some time off and Helen came and live with me for what I thought would be a short while. We gave up our bed for her and her baby. My brother stayed at his house and only came for supper. The pains got worse and we had to feed her and even turn her in bed; she could not move.
After a few months a woman told us of a man who would help her because he had helped her husband. We called him; he was not a doctor, just a regular person. He told us to get some rubbing lotion, Epson Salt and plenty of hot water. We lived in a cold water flat, no heat, a coal stove. This man would come three times a week. He would make a tub for her that we used to bathe ourselves filled with Epson Salt, and hot water. He would cover her head and let her inhale all that steam, then he would rub her body all over and put cuppings [sic] wherever she had pain. In a few weeks she started to improve. By this time I had another child, a girl named Mary who was three years old. Helen had a beautiful voice and she played the mandolin very well. As she kept improving, she began to sing Italian songs she had learned in Italy and play her mandolin. My daughter Mary, who was not in school yet, would listen to her and learned all the songs.
When Helen felt better, she went back to her home and I went back to work. Thank god all her pains had disappeared.
Uncle Nick and Mary (his first wife)
My brother Nick got married to a lovely girl who had no parents; only a step-mother who she said had treated her very bad when she was young. Her real mother died when she was 11 months old and Mary had a very hard life. Mary liked my family very much and said I was the mother she never had. She would spend her days in my home even though she had her own apartment. My sister Rosie was not 17 years old and she was keeping company with a nice young man who was a barber. After two years of going out with him, Rosie and Tony got married. Both Mary and Rosie, after a year of marriage, were expecting a baby around the same time.
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My sister-in-law, Mary, wanted to come and live with me. She was in my house all day long from breakfast to dinner and then she went home. So one day I said to her you pay high rent and you are never there. Jokingly I said you might as well move in with me. She was so excited; she said I have been waiting for you to ask me for a long time. So, I got rid of the borders and she moved in with us.
Mary had her first born, Joseph, who was not 3 years old and was now expecting her second child. She wanted a little girl so bad. She kept saying “God will not give me a little girl but if he does, either me or the baby will die”. I told her not to talk like that but she said that was what happened to her mother and the same thing would happen to her.
On January 6, 1932 my sister, Rosie, gave birth to a baby boy at home and named him Vincent. I had to go there and take care of her because she had no one else. Her husband, Tony, had no family here in the U.S. I would stay at my sister Rosie’s all day until my girls would be home from school. Then they would come and stay with Rosie while I went home to cook dinner.
When Rosie’s baby was 2 days old, Mary came by to say she was going to the doctor for her check up; she was expecting in about 1 month. Two hours later she came back and said everything was fine. I went home and left her there. When my daughter came home I told her to go there and stay so Mary could come home and rest. Grace went there and came running back to tell me that Mary was laying at the foot of the bed and was burning with fever. So I left everything and went back there and took her home. We sent for the doctor right away and he couldn't believe that she had a high fever when she was just in his office a few hours earlier. He prescribed some medicine and said he would return in the morning. When he returned she was still burning with fever and he couldn't understand why. Mary had told us that before she went to the doctor she took a shower and then ran outside because her neighbors twin babies were crying and she went to rock them. She probably caught a cold. Her fever continued for about two days and never went down. We decided to call another doctor. When he arrived he said she should be in the hospital because she has double pneumonia.
When Mary heard this she began to cry and said she would not go to the hospital because that is how her mother died. We could not convince her to go so my brother hired two nurses for day and night and the doctor ordered oxygen tanks. By now the high fevers brought on the labor pains; she still had a month to go. After three days of fever the baby was born -- a beautiful baby girl born January 9, 1932. The baby was born with jaundice from the fevers but soon was doing much better. When Mary was told she had her little girl, she would not believe us.
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We could not bring the baby to her because she was contagious and the baby was very small. Two days after the baby was born Mary was feeling a little better and was hungry. When the nurse left to get her some breakfast, she begged me to show her the baby. She still did not believe me; thought I told her it was a little girl to make her feel better. So, I sneaked the baby near the door of her bedroom and this made her very happy.
About 2:00 p.m. that afternoon I saw the nurse running back and forth. I ran to see what was happening and the nurse was giving her oxygen; Mary was having a convulsion. We phoned the doctor to come right away but after a few hours she went into a coma and was delirious.
She did not speak to anyone but kept saying "give me my clothes because I have to leave. My mother who is dead is calling me. I have to go with her." My husband, Paul, who loved her like one of his daughters, walked with a picture of a saint all night and we all kept praying that she would be saved; she was so young, only 25. But, about 5:00 o'clock in the morning she died. The baby was 4 days old.
Before the baby was born she thought that if she had a baby girl she would die like her mother. She asked me to take care of her little girl and I promised I would. And now, Mary’s worst fear had come true and I had this little girl in my care. Her little boy, Joseph, was only 3 years old. We were all so shocked and full of sorrow that I was also sick for a while.
My sister Clorinda's husband, Joe, went with the undertaker to pick a plot for the burial. It was a very cold day and Joe went without an overcoat. He caught pneumonia, became very ill, and died on January 15, 1933. He was only 32 years old and left my sister of 29 years old with 4 small children. It was another tragedy. In three months we had three deaths in our immediate family.
I was so sick I thought I would be next, but thanks to God I was saved so I could take care of the baby and her 3 year old son.
The baby was named Rosemary, and nicknamed Cookie. She was a colic baby and cried night and day. She never took much of her bottle. But as time went by she became healthier and kept gaining weight. She was so cute with blond just like her mother. She brought happiness again in our home.
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When she was a year old my brother who was still living with me remarried. He broke our heart when he moved and took her away. We asked him to leave her with us but he said his wife wanted the baby. After they moved I kept calling to see how they were. I would dream of their mother often and always when there was something wrong I would know it. Once I dreamt Mary was crying and saying my baby, my baby. I woke up so scared. As soon as it was daylight I called to see if everything was all right.
©2008, Bruce De Larm. These records are protected by copyright laws
and may not be copied or reproduced without permission.