Mary Beckley Bristow
1864: Tyranny of the deepest dye
Jan. 19th 1864.
With the exception of two letters sent to the office this morning I have not written one word since the New Year set in. For many years a Christmas & New Years has not passed without my writing something of the Goodness of God that has been graciously extended to me the year that had passed away. My continued bad health is my excuse, for I can say of a truth I have not had one day of even common health for two months. Part of the time was very ill, often thought my departure from the shore of time could not be far distant, yet I am still spared. . . .
At this time one year ago my beloved Mother laid in this house, a lifeless corpse; the spirit had flown to God who gave it. The precious clay tabernacle was still in our sight, and though twelve months have rolled away, yet this day I have again and again passed through the whole scene. In imagination I have heard her last words,“Blessed Jesus have mercy on me and take me home.” He heard her cry and took her to evermore. . . .
Jan 20th. Our faithful Celia is no better.1 Physcians think her situation very critical.
21st. Thought Celia better this morning but tonight there are no good symptoms. The Doctors have no hope.
22d. Celia is still very bad but certainly bears her sufferings with as much fortitude and patience as I have ever witnessed. I have been blessed with strength to wait upon her that I knew not I possessed. The Lord is good.
23d. Tonight received a letter from my niece, Georgie Bristow,2 giving us the pleasing intelligence that they had heard direct from Jerome. He was well and in good spirits. He is with the Southern army. She does not say where. I am thankful, I hope, to God for this mercy, for the anxiety I have felt for him and others in the Southern Army cannot be computed. Have no hope our faithful servant will live to see another sun arise. Though greatly wearied I shall not go to bed at all.
24th. How strange to think that this night a week ago Celia was well and hearty. Now her body is lying in the cold and silent grave. She died last night, and though she gave no sign seemed to be insensible to the approach of the dread monster, yet I know God’s mercy is great, his power infinite, and in him will I hope. I shall miss her greatly, but can say the Lord’s will be done in earth even as it is in heaven.
Jan. 31st 1864.
Spent the day at brother Stansifer’s. Read Brother Dudley’s letter to them that I received two days ago. They were much pleased to hear from him in the flesh, for we had thought he was dead. He had been very ill and is not yet allowed by his physicians to preach, his throat being still tender from diphtheria.3 I also read an excellent letter from Brother Nay of Indiana4 to Sister Bettie Stansifer. May the Lord bless those brethren & all of his children wherever scattered is my desire. I was so glad to receive Br Dudley’s letter. He says he never enjoyed better health.
March 6th 1864.
Anselm and his family have moved from this house, & Brother Julius and myself have moved down stairs to the rooms we occupied before Mother died. I miss her almost as much as when she first died. The place where she sat at the window [looks] so natural that I almost feel for a moment that she will come in soon. Ere long I hope to go to her; she will return to me no more.
April 15th 1864.
Brother Julius and I are alone tonight. Millie Clarkson and her daughter Jennie,5 who will live with us this year have gone a visiting. I am greatly wearied. Br Lassing has been here the whole day. . . .
Sept 17th 1864.
Five months have elapsed since I have written any. How many things have transpired in those months! Many terrible battles have been fought, thousands of our fellow creatures have been launched into eternity, and yet the fanatics are unsatisfied, are still for war. And I have lost all hope, have no faith in man, whose breath is in his nostril.6 But know assuredly that the Omnipotent God can scatter our enemies with one breath. One wave of his almighty arm will discomfit them, and they will be carried away. . . .
Oct 2d 1864.
Darker and darker grows the war cloud to my limited sight each day that passes. This evening my negro man Sim left for the Army. He was drafted.7 Thus a part of my independence for a living is gone, just as I concluded that my negroes would probably stay with me. Well, I need not be disturbed at that for I know that my dependence is precisely where it was before, In the same kind hand it has ever been. . . .
October 3rd 1864.
I loaned Sim my horse and buggy to go to Covington, and he was to have sent them back this evening, and he has not done as he promised. I feel by far more restless about my horse than I do about Sim, for he and the balance of the negroes have grown too large in their own esteem for one to care about them, though I do sometimes pity them. But I do care for my horse and buggy and hope they will be returned safe tomorrow. I have spent a great deal of my life and all of my money raising negroes for old Lincoln to take from me at his pleasure.8 But the truth is, and I know it is strange but true, that although I and two of my brothers will be left dependent or nearly so if our negroes are taken, yet I cannot care about it. The idea of losing our independence as a nation and having the Abolitionists to lord it over us is what seems unbearable and causes a perfect writhing of my heart strings. I am certain the Lord will let our enemies go so far and no farther than he pleases. Why such irreconciliation? Remember, O Lord, mercy this night.
Oct 6th 1864.
Millie, Jennie & myself spent the day at Volney’s. Nan Breckinridge is preparing to accompany her daughter, Mrs Ellis, to Canada.9 How strange it looks for a freeborn citizen of Ky. to have to run to a monarchical government to get rid of tyranny of the deepest dye. Strange, yes, passing strange, that men have sat still and suffered themselves to be brought to such a condition by a Usurper, a man without any qualification calculated to have made him president of the nation, and behold he has brought on the most cruel and unjust war that ever deluged any nation in blood. Yet I would be still, for I know the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth, and His own wise purposes will be executed in raising up Lincoln as in the Egyptian King of old. Have just read the circular letter of [the] Licking Association; was much pleased with it. Sardis sent neither letter nor message this year. The male members did not think it prudent to leave their families, as the the negro soldiers are often here from Covington, patroling the County.10 Oh, when shall peace and safety be restored to us once more?
I have another cause of trouble. My dear old brother, Julius, my earthly stay and protector, has been in poor health for years, but for four months past has been so much worse that I despair of his being any better. His health, together with the very uncertain condition of our negro property, will compel us to break up and go to Reuben’s, a thing that is painful to us both.
October 7th 1864.
Several of my nieces have been with me today, and I should have enjoyed their company, but the constant roar of cannon has so unstrung my nerves that I cannot enjoy anything.11 Have heard nothing to cause our enemies to rejoice. . . .
November 18th 1864.
This is my fifty-sixth birthday. Sure I have lived long enough to be better & wiser than I am.
November 22d 1864.
This morning Benjamin Cleek, our nearest neighbor, departed this life.12 Though only a quarter of a mile off, we did not hear of it until ten o’colock in the day. I walked down and found his poor wife in great distress. His three little children looked very pitiful.13 They have lost a very devoted husband and father, who was doing well in this world’s goods. But the Lord’s will must be done.
Nov 23d.
Heard Mr Arnold14 preach Ben Cleek’s funeral sermon. . . . Ben Cleek was interred here in the orchard with his Father & brothers where he was born and raised. It is very cold. How we are to get wood I can’t see. Brother Julius is so poorly and none but God to help him. . . .
November 29th.
Went over to Volney’s this evening to see my niece, her husband, and two children. Have not see Annie since her marriage to Doctor Philips.15 He looked like a near relation, but I was sorry to see him in such health. He has been forced to leave his home in Missouri, and how much trouble this dreadful, cruel war has occasioned no mortal can estimate. Took John Cleek16 to board today.
30th. Went to Volney’s again today. Was pleased to find Doctor Philips better. Hope he will regain his health & get a situation near us. Their coming has deprived me of my niece Nan Breckenridge’s company. I miss her woefully. Millie Clarkson is in Crittenden; don’t know that she will stay with me much more. I should be glad to have her company as long as we stay in this house. Where we shall go or what will be our condition I cannot tell. . . .
December 3d.
This was our monthly meeting. It was so muddy I could not go in my buggy, but though suffering greatly with my left hip that is more affected than it has been for many years, causing me to toss until one o’clock last night with high fever and feeling most wretchedly bad this morning, I concluded to go on horse back, hoping the fresh air would make me feel better. Was not disappointed; felt much revived, though I got cold. Was truly sorry that Sarah Jane Clarkson did not get to meeting. [She] has always gone with me in my buggy. . . . As I passed by Mrs Cleek’s I was astonished by the number of horses, waggons & buggies hitched. It was the day of the sale of her husband’s property. Poor woman, doubtless she felt awful to witness such a break up of [her] so-lately happy home. A good many of our members attended the sale.
* * * * *
Wednesday, Dec. 6th 1864.
Dr Philips, Annie & children and Nan Breckinridge came in Monday morning. Yesterday morning as soon as they started I fixed off to Sardis; found nobody at the meeting house but the two ministering brethren, Wright and Johnson, Br Stansifer & Br Wilson, the house keeper.17 Was agreeably disappointed in the congregation. . . .
December 7th, 1864.
This is my deceased father’s birthday. He was born the seventh day of December, 1770. [He] often spoke of having three sevens in the date of his birth and [of] having a number so often spoken of in the scriptures. He passed away to the Christ world some nine years ago, the tenth day of last October, but I often think of his birthday. The place of his birth, Culpeper County, Virginia,18 is wasted and destroyed by contending armies. Bristow Station, near which the lamented Jackson fought some of his hardest battles, no doubt took its name from some of my Father’s relatives.19 I believe it was reading of these battles in the life of General Stonewall Jackson today that reminded me of my Father. [I] have so often in early life heard him describe the scenes of his childhood, boyhood, and youth in Culpeper. Jackson was doubtless a great and good man, but the Lord that has an undisputed right to govern all things gave him to and took him from his country and possesses all powers to raise another to fill his place. Have mercy on our guilty nation, O Lord, and with Thy strong arm drive the invaders of our soil back to their own and give us peace once more, if it be Thy will. I ask in the name of Jesus.
Dec 8th 1864.
It is intensely cold, and I have not been able even to knit but little. My hands would get cold. Have read a good deal in a book I received from my nephew, Julius Bristow, by J C Waller, entitled The Second Coming of Christ.20 Have been deeply interested. . . .
Dec 9th, 64.
Another very cold day. Toward the evenng the ground was quickly covered. I have read a good deal in Waller’s Second Coming of Christ. He is a very smart man and reasons logically.
Saturday night, Dec 17th 1864.
This morning Dr Philips, Annie & the children left us. Have been with us one week and will probably never be here again. I much doubt ever seeing them after they leave the neighborhood. They know not where they will settle, and I am not much wiser as to my own fate. Dreadful times we have when a family may be driven out of their houses and are not permitted to return. . . .
Dec 18th.
This has been a long, lonely Sunday. Br Julius and I have been alone all day with the exception of a few minutes. Thornton Wilson21 came in bringing a letter from Millie, who is at Crittenden and does not seem to know when she will return. Well, I wish her to stay where she is most happy. I have become accustomed to her absence & but seldom think of her as one of our family. To judge from her letter she is greatly troubled about her son, who is a surgeon in the rebel army.22 Very many Mothers have the same trouble of heart at this time. Since the battle fought in Tennessee23 — that we have every right to believe all our boys (equally as dear to us or their mothers as hers is to her) were with General Duke24 in that engagement — we have had no information from them at all. Those Mothers think I do not love my boys as well as they do, and may be so. My Children, my Noble boys, are only mine by adoption, but, O, I love them dearly and would be so glad to know they were doing well, not suffering this dark, rainy night. . . .
December 19th 64.
Heard bad news from the army today that made my heart sink.25 Went over to Volney’s to bid Dr Philips, Annie and the children farewell. Will I ever see them again? I have but little hope, for these are uncertain times. When we part with friends there is a feeling of sadness that we knew nothing about in happier days. Came home and after supper sat down with my knitting and my testament in my lap. . . .
Dec 21st 64.
Started early to meeting this morning on account of the bad state of the roads. My heart nearly failed me when I got to the first mud hole, it was so bad. But I believe that was the worst obstacle I had to encounter, though the grade was as rough as I ever saw it. The snow fell blindingly in my face the whole way. When I got to Br Stansifer’s found it was not meeting time, so stopped and warmed my almost frozen fingers. Was not cold — only my right hand. Br Johnson got there five minutes after the time, warmed himself, and then went into the pulpit.
December 25th [1864].
Another Christmas Day has passed. We had my brother Anselm and family, Volney Dickerson and family, Nan Breckinridge & her daughter, Mary Jane Wilmot,26 and her little boy to eat their Christmas dinner with us, the last Christmas dinner they or I will ever eat in this house, according to human calculations. It was rather a sad day. Thoughts of the many, who in happier days would dine with us on this day that we shall meet no more in time and among those from whom we are separated by distance, would intrude. Several times I felt unbidden tears in my eyes, but, oh in the midst of it all, what great cause for gratitude have I. Fifty-six Christmas days have passed since I was born. Many very pleasant ones have I spent, but now my heart is sad. This desolating war that is ruining our country preys on my heart. Yet I acknowledge my great rebellion of heart against the rule of Omnipotent Wisdom, for I do know the Lord of Heaven and Earth can drive the invaders from our soil and give us peace and security at any time. Why should I be disheartened at the desolations being made in the South by the Northern Army?27 Will not the Lord God of the whole do right? Does He, who formed his creatures and many for whom the Savior lived and died, not see and hear their homeless, friendless, suffering condition? Is He not still the Eternal God, the refuge of His people. . .?
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Notes:
[Click on footnote number to return to text.]
1 The mother of Calvin. Her age is not known.
2 Georgia Ann Conde Corlis (1840-1867), the first wife of Julius Lucien Bristow, who was Jerome’s eldest brother.
3 An acute infectious disease caused by Corynebacterium diphtheriae, usually spread by contact with an infected person, typically confined to the upper respiratory tract. Symptoms include sore throat and fever, and formation of a tough (false) membrane which can interfere with breathing.
4 Not identified.
5 Mary Jane Clarkson (1845?- -?-), Manoah and Millie’s youngest child.
6 See Genesis 2:7 and 7:22.
7 He joined Company A, 13th United States Colored Artillery (Heavy), one of the units formed to defend Covington and Cincinnati. General Stephens wrote about the draft to his brother William on 18 August.
There have been three separate and distinct drafts in this county and now the great draft for five hundred thousand is to come on the 5th of September & Ky’s quota it is said will be about 20,000. There are now squads of Negro Soldiers stationed in Kenton & Boone Counties for the purpose as it is said of recruiting other negroes, & it is thought a great many have already joined the army. Stephens Letters, 65.
8 The Emancipation Proclamation, issued by Lincoln 1 Jan 1863, did not affect the legal status of Mary’s servants. It applied only to those states or parts of states in rebellion. However, by this time, it was clear that the“peculiar institution” of slavery was doomed throughout the country.
9 Sarah Ann Breckinridge (1842-1933), one of the nieces visiting Mary in 1858. She had married in 1863 John William Ellis (1839-1910), a college teacher who was a distant cousin. The exiles returned after the war and settled in western Missouri. Sallie’s travels were not over. “When past seventy years of age, [she] made a seven weeks trip to Europe with her son, the novelist,” (John) Breckenridge Ellis (1870-1956). Walter Williams, ed., History of Northwest Missouri (Chicago: Lewis, 1915), 1:197.
10 Gen. Stephen Burbridge, the Union commander in Cincinnati, pursued an aggressive policy of sending patrols throughout the area. His use of Black troops drew comment from another Boone County diarist, L. A. Loder, who lived in Petersburg in the western part of the county, “A lot of Negro Soldiers came to Pete from Burlington and several from near Pete.” [Civil War in Boone, 24.] Protests about Burbridge’s high-handed methods, which included fines and banishment of those suspected of Rebel sympathies, eventually led to his replacement. [Harrison, Civil War in Kentucky, 76-79.]
11 The cause of the display has not been identified. Likely more gunnery practice.
12 Benjamin W. Cleek (1828-1864), son of John Jacobs Cleek, who had died five years before. (See above, 4 Dec 1859.)
13 Ben’s wife was Sarah F. Riddell (1828?- -?-). Their children were Charles, Lee, and Sally. The widow remarried in 1867 to Tolliver Bruce Sanders.
14 Not identified. Ben’s tombstone survived and is inscribed“Benjamin W Cleek / d Nov 20, 1864 / aged 36 yrs 7 mo & 23 d”.
15 S. T. Phillips (1827?- -?-), a physician and farmer from Kentucky, had married 14 Sep 1858 in Audrain County, Missouri, Anna Jane Ellis (1837?- -?-), the daughter of Mary’s nephew, James B. Ellis and his first wife, Patsy Ellis. By 1860 the young family had one-year-old twins, Ada and Ida, and were living near Annie’s father and her aunt Kate, Mary’s niece. They had apparently run afoul of the martial law authorities in the area.
16 John Jacobs Cleek, Jr. (1848-1927), a younger brother of the late Ben Cleek. He married on 28 Jan 1875 Kitty Stansifer (1853-1934), a younger sister of Lucien Dickerson’s wife, Mollie. (See above, 26 Mar 1855.)
17 None identified.
18 No other evidence connects James Bristow to this part of northern Virginia, though some of the Clarkson and Stephens roots are along the Rappahannock. As far as we can tell her father was raised in Buckingham County, southwest of Richmond in the Piedmont, not far from Appomatox, though he may have been born in New Kent County.
19 Sometimes spelled Bristoe, the tiny settlement was named not for a resident, but for the Bristow Tract, 3750 acres forfeited (escheated) to the Commonwealth of Virginia following the Revolution by the Loyalist heirs of Robert Bristow, a London merchant, who was in Virginia in the mid-1660s, but returned to England. This Robert was once thought to be kin to our branch, even the founder of the family in this country, but the theory has been disproved. There may be a more distant connection, hinted at by the repetition of some unusual names. See Fairfax Harrison, Landmarks of Old Prince William, 187, 194.
20 The book had been published the year before. The author was probably a distant cousin of Statira’s. (Her grandmother was Dorothy Jemima Waller.) The Wallers were among the earliest and most energetic converts to Baptist doctrines. Two of Statira’s great uncles, John (1741-1802) and William Edmund Waller (1747-1830), gained terms in prison for their vigorous objections to the Established Church in colonial Virginia.
21 Martha’s nephew, Thornton James Wilson (1852- -?-), son of her brother James.
22 Joseph Kendrick Clarkson (1839-1871), Millie Clarkson’s son, named for her father, who had died two years before. (See above 12 Mar 1862.)
23 Possibly George Stoneman’s defeat of the Confederate forces at Kingsport.
24 Basil Wilson Duke (1838-1916). As a colonel, he had commanded Jerome’s regiment, the 2nd Kentucky Cavalry. Duke took command of the Confederate cavalry forces in southwestern Virginia and eastern Tennessee after John Hunt Morgan’s death.
25 Probably John Bell Hood’s crushing defeat by George H. Thomas at Nashville, three days before. Also Stoneman continued to push Breckinridge and Duke in southwestern Virgina.
26 Mary Jane Breckinridge (1837-1906) married William Washington Wilmot (1829-1894) of Bourbon County in 1858, at her uncle Volney’s house. They had moved to Hancock county, Illinois by 1860. The little boy was William Canby Wilmot (1862?- -?-). Mary does not mention a six-month-old daughter (named for her grandmother, Nancy) who was counted in the 1860 census. Little Nancy had died in January 1862. They later moved to Clay County, Missouri.
27 William Tecusmeh Sherman had just reached Savannah, cutting a swath across central Georgia in the famous — or infamous — March to the Sea.
