Mary Beckley Bristow
1860: It is a busy time with me
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January 30th 1860.
In the midst of life we are in death.1 The truth of this assertion has been painfully proven to us. This evening I saw the mortal body of our faithful servant, Sallie, laid in the house appointed for all living.2 Two miserable, restless days and nights I spent watching her departing spirit taking leave of the body. I strove with all my power to beg the Lord spare her to us, if his will, to take care of her children, particularly the little babe ten days old. And when I believed her case hopeless, O how anxious I felt that he would give us some evidence that she was leaving this for a happier world. It was not thy pleasure, Gracious Father, to give us that evidence. Yet I cannot help having hope for her. Never in my life have I witnessed such patience, not a murmur nor a groan did I hear from her, but laid and breathed her life away as calmly as an infant going to sleep. . . .
Twenty-six years ago next March, a half mile from this place, I saw my beloved brother, Benjamin F. Bristow, breathe his last. How vividly did the whole scene of his death pass through my mind night before last, when restlessly walking to and fro, I was trying to be reconciled to the Lord’s will in life and in death. In my beloved brother’s case I trust we had good reason to hope. When he became conscious he was dying, he called my Mother and myself, who were alone with him at the time, to his bedside, told us he was nearly gone, but we must not grieve for him; he was a great sinner, but Jesus was a greater Savior. Said the grave had been a great terror to him, but that the terror was gone. “My Jesus,” said he, “laid in the grave and left a long perfume there that will reach even to me.” He told Mother that if he ever grieved or hurt her feelings he hoped she would forgive him. His dying advice to me was to read the Bible for myself and follow its dictates; let no one lead me into error. This advice I have striven to follow.
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Oct 8th 1860.
I have neglected my record so much during the past spring and summer that I am almost ashamed to write anything in it. Not only days and weeks but even months have passed away, marked by the reception of very many blessings. . . .
We have been visited by two severe cases of sickness. Many times during my Mother’s severe attack in June, I have said in my heart, she cannot recover; she is too old and feeble; yet she was spared to us, and since that time has enjoyed unusual good health. In the latter part of the same month, a young friend (George Wilson)3 was attacked with hemorrhage of the lungs in the road near us, was brought to the house, and for days his life seemed to hang on a hair. Yet a merciful God spared him to return home to his sorrowing Mother and sisters, and he is now able to ride about, though I greatly fear will never enjoy good health again. Near three weeks ago another young friend, Robert Stansifer,4 highly esteemed by all who knew him, one who was filling his station in society with credit to himself and honor to his family, a beloved son and brother, was found dead in his bed, doubtless taken from time to eternity when asleep. . . .
Oct. 28th 1860.
Last Thursday (the 25th) My Brother Anselm was married to Martha Jane Wilson.5 I have known her from her birth and believe her to be an excellent girl. I do most sincerely hope they will be a blessing to each other and that he will not be so much taken up with the vanities and follies of the world. Yes, I hope he will be a more exemplary baptist. According to an old promise, Br Theobalds came up to marry them. By this means we got to hear him preach yesterday and today at Sardis. I am of the opinion Br John has improved very much. I always thought him a greater preacher than he was generally thought to be. . . .
Nov. 29th [1860].
This morning my nephew, John O Bristow, and family started to Bourbon to live. They have been living near us since last April. I know his brothers in Bourbon are much abler to help him than we are,6 yet I have felt sad all day at our separation. . . . Himself I shall greatly miss for I always looked for him to take one or more meals with us every day. I sincerely hope his removal will be for his and his family’s benefit. A more helpless one I have never seen. . . .
Dec 2nd 1860.
Mother and I went /to Sardis/; found the roads very rough for the buggy.
Dec 3rd 60.
Have been poorly all day. read the first chapters of the Acts of the Apostles; could not read aright. . . .
Dec 4th 60.
Still suffering with my side. Have just read the 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10th Chapters of the Acts. . . .
Dec. 5th 1860.
Felt better today than for some time past. Consequently have had to be much engaged, as it is a busy time with me, cutting and sewing the negroes’ clothes.7 I want to get them all done before Christmas.
Dec. 6th 1860.
Have had a very busy day sewing, feel weary and worn. Don’t love those busy times; am always too anxious to get through, and my worn out frame won’t bear much straining.
December 10th 1860.
Have spent a busy day and feel quite weary. Anselm and Martha came home this evening. Her brother George is still very low; they have no hope of his recovery. I know the Lord will do right, and what he does is always best. Yet I would be glad if poor George could be restored to health. He is an amiable, good, young man, generally and deservedly beloved. . . .
December 25th 1860.
Another Christmas has come, and all but one of our family (poor Sallie) have been spared to see it. Mother, brother Julius and I have been alone all day. I don’t recollect that such a thing ever happened before in my life. I felt a little lonely. But I well remember when a quiet day was not lost but prized. I could read my bible and hymn books [and] the Signs of the Times with pleasure. . . .
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Notes:
[Click on footnote number to return to text.]
1 From the burial service in the (Episcopal) Book of Common Prayer.
2 Job 30:23. Little more is known of Sallie or her baby. On 8 May 1843 Mary's mother, Jane, took out a mortgage on Sallie for $105.71, with a nieghbor, Morris Lassing. Sallie was identified in the papers as being about 14 years of age. This would have made her 30 when she died, probably of "childbed fever" or other complications of giving birth. (The mortgage was paid off the following year.) The 1860 census, taken 28 July, listed no infants, so her baby probably died soon after this entry. (My thanks to Jim Duvall for a copy of the mortgage.)
3 George W. Wilson (1828?-1861), a son of Thornton J. Wilson and Maria Kendrick. (See above, 28-29 Jul 1848.)
4 In the census of 1860, Robert T. Stansifer was listed as a 30-year old bachelor merchant with a personal estate of $11,500. He was the son of Abram (Sr.) and Mary Robinson Stansifer. His younger brother, John Milton, also died young, apparently of tuberculosis. [Rouse, 278.]
5 Age 26, Martha Jane was a sister of the ailing George, and a second cousin of Millie Clarkson. In 1850 Jane Bristow and her three children had been next-door neighbors of the Wilsons on the Long Branch of Gunpowder Creek, a few miles west of Union.
6 John’s half-brothers, William Rogers Colcord (1826-1901) and Frank Palmer Colcord (1829-1899), were prosperous farmers in the Cane Ridge district. In spite of Mary’s misgivings, John survived until 1876, and is buried with his mother, Louisa Metcalfe (1798-1842) and his half-siblings on the grounds of Cane Ridge Meeting House. (See above, 1 Feb 1859.) One of John’s sons, Reuben, went west to join his Uncle William Colcord in punching cattle on the Great Plains, only to be shot full of arrows in 1878 by some unhappy Northern Cheyenne. Reuben’s brother Will, also a cowboy, joined in the search for the culprits. (The tale is recounted by their cousin, Charles Francis Colcord, in Chronicles of Oklahoma, 12:16-19.) Read about Reuben’s death.
7 All the sewing done by hand work. A stitch at a time, without the aid of a sewing machine, which had not yet come into widespread availability. (See above, 9 Jan 1858.)
