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Ancestors of Forrest Gene PLUMSTEAD Sr

Heavenly Conversation

Having read all your replys to this subject, have any of you thought of the dear departeds thoughts, I think it goes something like this.

discussion among a group of departed of many billions in overcrowded heaven,

"Oi up, there at it again"
" not again ,why don,t they give it a rest , for christs sake , I have been married to more women than I can count on my fingers "
" thats not the best of it mate , I am supposed to have fathered children all over the wrekin, no wonder I popped my my clogs, what with all them wifes too ,it was too much man" ,
" Not me mate , I died aged 3 ,and have forninicated all over the country, and I never had the pleasure of one,sad "
" Me I joined the navy ,kept out of it all till the ship sank, now where am , in davy jones locker ,and he,s making eyes at me, "
" You men are all the same , always moaning , you have never given birth to 30 children "
" not me mum , I had three children all virgin births "
" best kept out of it all ,lass ,I died as pure as the day I was born "
" count yourselves lucky , what with fifteen children by five hubbys , its no wonder I packed it all in "
" Talking about us souls , I ,ve been buried in upteen churchyards , and tossed off two cliffs"
" It would not be so bad ,if they did,nt keep getting our names wrong, my name was smiff , not smith ,and what do that lot do down there , go round moaning about smiths and tearing their hair out, and thats not all ,I,m related to half the world of them, fathered countless millions , when all I did was produce three smiffs"
" Aye then theirs them vicars calling us bastards, its not fair "
" Yea well woman , you not been locked up for something you never did, transported halfway round the world an all, for nothing , and all along here was I ploughing a field in blighty minding my own business, till I fell in a hidden well"
" bad luck mate, not as bad as mine , I was hanged drawn and quartered , with a laughing ,jeering crowd around me , what did I do ,I got into debt,thats what mate"
" not me mate , I am supposed to have gone to the americas on some wreck called the mayflower, snuffed it after three years never married ,cos no decent women about ,now I am related to half of america"
"Aye I was on ship once , a transportee too, married a kangroo , well take alook there now"
" Well I was on the titanic ,now all i hear is that lot down there singing "life must go on" sheesh"
" I know what you mean mate , I,ve been linked to more familys than my ancient mind can get its head round"
" Yea ,well my only claim so my desendants say is that billy the kid put one between my eyes , well people did say I had no brains "
" talking about brains , I was supposed to to be a lunatic, now their genius,s, uh"
" yeah ,well then theirs them enumerators ,could,nt spell a toss, deaf and dumb most of em, and atrociously bad spellers, and writers , and couldnt find their way out a paper bag "
" Yea , lincs is not the same as lancs, so I have got squables going on down there , not that it matters, I was born in scotland"
" talking about scotland ,I once served under bonny prince charlie , not my description at all of him"
" well because of you scottish windbags we seem to have inherited some of your traits ,now they call us welsh windbags, cos of that couple down there"
" Aye and that lot down there can,t get their heads round our patronymic naming system ,still keep em from waking me up "
" you english ,all the same ,spent centuries murdering each other , now you are still where you started north and south"
" well I did,nt kill anyone, that richard done it for me , at least i won,t be woken up with a cursor, I,m beyond all of them"
" well all I can say is that its time too move on this places getting tooooo crowded, I need space"
" good idea mate ,what with them lot coming up in droves, well I glad I am here now , god knows what them lot are going to get up to when they get into all this multi-gender stuff ,"
" no ducky we been doing it for centurys." .

With Special thanks to:
gary hodge
of the KENT-ENG Mailing List

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