MURPHY'S EMERALD IDYLL
God's Perfect Joke
by Jack Murphy
On the evening of Friday, May 25, 2001, I had a very interesting experience. I had what I believe to be a spiritual experience. I experienced an event in which I believe God played a perfectly executed joke on me. Since I am a collector of jokes, and am very familiar with their technical structure, it gave me quite a belly laugh.
Please bear with me a moment while I set the story up properly. Most people have had the experience of hearing a joke with some kind of serial element which often delivers the punch line on the third delivery. The priest, minister and rabbi is one common style. Another example is the story of the golfer who liked to play at Pebble Beach, California. The course had one particularly hard hole involving clearing water to reach a green on a peninsula. Since he always lost his ball in the water, he always used an older, knicked ball for this shot.
One day, as he was about to hit the ball, he heard a Voice from above say, " USE A NEW BALL."
He was thrilled. He was certain this meant he was about to make this shot at last with Divine help.
As he was about to hit the new ball, the Voice said, "TAKE A PRACTICE SWING."
Naturally, he stepped back and did as instructed. Then he readied to shoot again.
"TAKE ANOTHER PRACTICE SWING," the Voice said. So, he did.
Just as he is about to hit the ball, the Voice said, "USE THE OLD BALL."
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Reviewing this old joke may help to add some fun to my story. On one particular Friday night after watching the eleven o'clock news I went to bed. As I am a man with apnea and can't sleep on my back, I habitually sleep on one side or the other. This night I had trouble clearing my head of all my computer plans and couldn't get to sleep. After lying on one side for a while, I felt the need to turn over. Often I play a sort of game where I try to guess the time on the digital clock across the room, before I turn over. This time I closed my eyes and saw 12:15. When I turned over, there it was exactly--12:15. I was amazed and amused.
After lying there a while longer, I again felt the need to turn over. I closed my eyes and concentrated. I saw the red numerals, 12:35, as clear as anything. I turned over, and to my amazement, the clock said exactly 12:35.
Now, I was really impressed! Of all the possible numbers I could have chosen, guessing these two times with complete accuracy--right to the minute--was far beyond the laws of chance. Odds of 60 to one on two separate guesses! No way could this have happened without some kind of spiritual involvement. The thought occurred to me that maybe it was possible that God was planning to grant me some kind of special power to foretell numerical choices. I thought how wonderful that would be and actually spoke to God directly asking for such a thing to take place. I assured Him I would treat such a power with respect and only use the power for good.
Then I tried to relax and go to sleep despite my excitement. Before long, my shoulder felt a little stiff and I needed to turn over again. This was it. This was the big one.
I closed my eyes and concentrated as hard as I could. Then I saw it. The numbers were clearly there, 12:52. No round numbers this time. 12:52 right to the minute. I turned over quickly and saw that the clock said, 1:05!!
I was deflated. Then, I looked at the ceiling and said, "OK, God, I get the message: Lesson Number One--Humility. Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor? He set me up perfectly for a joke in a classic style. I really had a good laugh over it.
God knew what he was doing. He knew the first place I would head would be for the line at the lottery ticket machine. How many times had I bought lottery tickets with my secret "bargaining" in mind. Why, of course I would do the right thing. No question. The first check I would write out would be for the church. Tithing. Ten percent off the top, naturally. After all, it would only be fair, wouldn't it? Wrong. I am absolutely certain that, even if I had taken an oath in blood, even If I had pledged to take the tithing amount and give the 90 per cent to the church, it wouldn't have worked.
It was about at this point when I began to grasp Lesson Number Two. Like most other humans, I have been dazzled with things. If I only had 20 million dollars, look at all the good I could do. Feed the hungry. House the homeless. Pay for medical treatment for the poor. Surprise a panhandler with a hundred dollar bill. Make thousands of people happy. Set such a good example of generosity for others to follow. Be a hero......with other people's money.
How could God be making such a choice? He was telling me that what He wanted was for me to share what I already have--money, time, caring--with the handful of people around me. Serving a small group with that which one already has is far more important to Him than seeing a person become a philanthropist helping thousands of people with money that really isn't his to give in the first place.
The interesting thing is that in demonstrating the kind of balance God has in his thinking, tipping the scale this way to serve the few instead of the many, He is showing how more important we individuals are to his plan. If He wanted to redistribute the world's wealth he could do it easily by giving lottery tickets, grants, inheritances, horse race choices, inspired stock market purchases, hog futures, and all sorts of financial gains to all the "right" people. What He wants is simplicity itself. Quality, not quantity, is Lesson Number Two.
Jokes are good. They can teach us valuable lessons if we can develop the skill to read the human values they contain. If we can get beyond the point of fun at someone's (even our) expense we can learn great lessons from them.