From: Jim E Cochran To: kbowler@basspro.com, mbarton@basspro.com, scross@basspro.com, sdouglas@basspro.com, ttroxell@basspro.com Cc: cochrans@egroups.com Subject: A few good blonde jokes MIME-Version: 1.0 Full-Name: Jim E Cochran X-Status: New X-Juno-Att: 0 X-Juno-RefParts: 0 A blonde is terribly overweight. So her doctor puts her on a diet. I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, then repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you you'll have lost at least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nods. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" "No, from skipping." <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< So there's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo," she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river, then down the river, then shouts back, "You are on the other side." <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But, what happened to your other ear?" "The jerk called back!" <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< A blonde was driving home after a game, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents. So the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard and all the dents would pop out. So the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. Her blonde roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first!" <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. The blonde finally remembered her daddy's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snow drift. This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to follow it. As she followed the snow plow, she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions. After quite some time had passed, the blonde was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for quite a long time. The blonde said that she was fine and told him of her daddy's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard. The driver replied, "Well that's just fine honey, and you can keep it up if you want. I'm done here with the K-Mart parking lot and I gotta go cross the way to Sam's Club next..."