The Nuprin Penis: Little, Yellow, Different. The Equal Penis: Tastes like Sugar. The Raid Penis: Kills bugs dead The Excedrin Penis: It's tthhhhiiiiiiissss big! The Sprite Penis: Image is nothing... Taste is everything. The Snickers Penis: It satisfies you. The Alkaseltzer Penis: Plop, plop, fizz, fizz... Oh, what a relief it is... The Magnavox Penis: Smart. Very Smart. The Life Call Penis: It's fallen and it can't get up. The American Express Penis: Don't leave home without it. The Tootsie Roll Pop Penis: How many licks DOES it take...? The Pringles penis: once you pop, you can't stop The m&m penis: melts in your mouth, not in your hand The frosted flakes penis: They're GGGRRRRRREEEEAAAAATTT! The Lucky Charms penis: They're magically delicious The Energizer penis: it keeps going and going The Right Guard penis: anything less is uncivilized The jolly green *giant* penis: self-explanatory The Cambells soup penis: mmm mmm good The Kix penis: kid tested, mother approved. The McDonald's penis: over 8 billion served. The Tombstone penis: what would you like on your penis? The Ragu penis: comes out chunkier than the rest. The Chips Ahoy penis: betcha bite a chip. (huh?) The Cobain penis: it blows itself away. The Purdue penis: more meat, less bone. The All State penis: you're in good hands. The 7-up penis: the UN-penis. The Nike penis: just do it. The Borden penis: it's GOT to be good. The Beef penis: it's what's for dinner. The Bud Lite penis: great taste, less filling. The Subway penis: where fresh is the taste. The Kentucky Fried Chicken penis: everybody needs a little. The Life penis: mikey likes it. The Transformers penis: it's more than meets the eye. The Twizzler penis: it makes mouths happy. The Nintendo penis: now you're playing with power. The Sega penis: PENIS! The Robitussin penis: used by nine out of ten moms. The Crest penis: recommended by 3 out of 4 dentists. The Champion penis: the official penis of the '96 u.s.a. olympic team. The Starburst penis: the juice is loose. The Toyota penis: i love what you do for me. The THX penis: Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! The Citibank Visa penis: it's everywhere you want to be. The Timex penis: takes a lickin and keeps on....... The Burger King penis: have it your way The Dairy Queen penis: hot eats, cool treats -OR- (we treat you right) McDonald's penis II: Have you had your break today? The Army penis: be all that you can be. The Uncle Sam penis: we want you. The Milk penis: it does a body good. The Milk penis II: got penis? The Flintstone's Vitamins penis: 10 million strong and growing The Wendy's penis: where's the beef? The Captain Planet penis: Go PENIS!! The Folger's Crystals Penis: It's freeze dried to seal in the freshness. AND--the best part of wakin up is a penis in your cup. The Lays penis: Betcha can't eat just one. The Mr. Clean penis: Is it wet or is it dry? The Diet Coke penis: Just for the taste of it... The Doublemint penis: chewing really satisfies. The Juicyfruit penis: the taste is gonna move ya. The Big Red penis: it lasts longer with big red. Robutussin Penis II: Recommended by Dr. Mom... The neon penis: Hi. The little caesar's penis: Penis!! Penis!! or Pleaser! Pleaser! The Generic penis: one size fits all. The Rave Music penis: Ya'll ready for this? The Mortal Kombat penis: nothing can prepare you. The Bounty Penis: The quicker picker-upper. The Pizza Hut penis: Makin' it great. The Bounce Penis: With Static-Guard! The Domino's Pizza penis: delivers in 30 min or less The Monty Python penis: "isn't awfully nice to have a penis" The Monty Python penis II: "every sperm is sacred...." The Budweiser penis: this penis is for you The Siskel & Ebert penis: 2 penises up... The Lava Lamp penis: hee hee hee!!!!! The George of the Jungle penis: watch out for that.......tree? The Nyquil penis: the nighttime coughing, sneezing, runny-nose, itching, burning, so you can't rest penis. The Rice Krispies penis: what does your penis say to you? The Extra penis: lasts an extra extra extra long time Wonder bubbles penis: Magic wand inside! Wonder bubbles penis II: for ages 3 and up The Trix Penis: silly rabbit, penises are for kids The Charmin penis: Don't squeeze the penis! The Sears penis: Come see the brighter side. The G.E. penis: We bring good penis to life! The Jewel penis: Take a new look at an old friend. The C&C music factory penis: Makes you go hmmmmm... The Rick James penis: It's SUPERFREAKY. The Gilette penis: The best a man can get. The Charmin Double Roll penis: It lasts longer because it IS longer. The Bacardi penis: taste the feeling. The Mentos Penis: PENIS! the freshmaker. The Macintosh penis: power is everything. The Borg penis: resistance is futile. The Edge Shaving Cream penis: ultimate closeness, ultimate comfort. The Beatles penis: now a quarter smaller than it used to be. The Jell-o penis: look at it wiggle, look at it jiggle. The Virginia Slims penis: you've come a long way, baby. The AT&T penis: reach out and touch someone. The Highlander penis: in the end, there can be only one. The Secret penis: strong enough for a man, ph balanced for a woman. The Micro-Machines penis: a whole world, in the palm of your hand. The ertl penis: just like the real thing, only smaller. The Sanka Penis: Good to the last drop The Swiss Miss penis: the taste you can enjoy anytime, anywhere! The Payday Penis: Its almost totally nuts! The Dairy Queen penis: Hot eats, cool treats. The yellow pages penis: Let your fingers do the walkin. The Sony play station penis: You are not ready. The Heinz Ketchup penis: good things come to those who wait. The Reese's penis: How do you eat your penis? The Beavis penis: Look! it's changing color! The Life Savers penis: Five fruity flavors. The Star Wars penis: Use the Force, Luke! -OR- May the penis be with you. The Invasion of the Body Snatchers penis: "They're here already! You're next... YOU'RE NEXT!" The War of the Worlds penis: "The time came when the Martians looked upon our penis with envious eyes, and slowly but surely turned their plans against us." The Windows '95 penis: If you ask it to do too much, it'll crash. The Kenny Rodgers penis: Very very hairy. The Rush Limbaugh penis: Bald and fat. The Janet Jackson Penis: What Have You Done For ME Lately? The Chevy Truck Penis: Like a rock! The Mazda Penis: It just feels right. The Ford Penis: Built Ford Tough. The Butterfinger Penis: Nobody better lay a finger on my penis! The Ego Waffles penis: Leggo my penis. The Skittles Penis: Taste The Penis The Bic Lighter Penis: Go Ahead flic my penis. NOW THIS IS SCIENCE! "When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago."