PART IIIThoughts on Human Relations and the Sexes:This post will serve two purposes. First it will become a part of my memoir under the heading of "Dinosaur Eggs Hatched, Part III". Even though it encompasses the entire period from the Part I through Part III, the subject matter is about what I learned about my own sexuality and details how I developed my philosophy concerning heterosexuality and homosexuality. Thus, this must be consider "R" rated since in today's climate it is a no no for under 18 to learn anything about their own sexuality. It is a shame, too. Our teens will have to acquire their sexual attitudes on the street, just as their parents and grandparents often had to do. Too bad that their parents are afraid to talk about sex and what they learned. The song, "We saw mama before she was mama", comes to mind. Today we hear so much on the news about teachers having sex with students, Gay Rights, and Dating Services that I feel I must say something. After all, I have seen seven and a half decades. My memories of my past sexual feelings and activities is still fresh in my mind. One might say, barring Alzheimer's, that memories of what was is all we Dinosaurs have left. After all, even with Viagra, the availability of sexual expression is behind us. However, the desire for sex remains to leave us with nothing but longing and fond memories. The stories which will follow have brought me to these conclusions about love and sex:
I recall that I began to realize the effect sight-scent-site of a girl had on me beginning about the age of 13-14 as I grew into puberty. The first girl friend was two or three years older than me and had fully developed attributes. As I remember, she used to embarrass me no end with her flirting. However, I was a good Catholic boy at the time, considering becoming an Alter Boy. I broke up with her when returning from an Alter Boy training session, I stopped by her place. She was dressed in very tight short shorts, unusual for 1946-47 era. Her blouse was open to expose voluptuous breasts but just covering her nipples. It shocked me and I quickly found an excuse to leave. This was the was the last straw and the last time I saw her. In my last year in San Antonio, Jon, Mary, and I attended St. Henry's Academy. I was in the 7th grade. A Nun was my home room teacher. She was perhaps in her 30's, not too bad looking in her Nun's cloths, but still a bit too Nunish to be a target of the older boys who always sat in the very back of the room. They would play mumbletypeg with their pocket knives and no body bothered them, not Even the Nun. It was at the end of Christmas break that I broke my foot playing football. We did not know it was broken the next day when I walked into class with a very noticeable limp. The Nun teased me mercilessly about all the "fun" I must have had with a girl the night before. My face must have been bright red as I tried to say I sprained my ankle playing football, to her, a "likely story". When I had to be carried home from the bus stop, I was taken to the military hospital where the broken bone in the side of my foot was found and I was put in a cast that came to just below the knee. Back to school I went on crutches. When we lined up in double file to move to our next class, the Nun put me at the back of the line and had the prettiest girl on the class to go with me and carry my books. That was neat and very much fun. Be the time Valentine's day rolled around, my foot had healed, and my bloodied nose from trying to catch a softball the first day out had also healed, we exchanged valentines in class. I had given the little girl who carried my books a nice one but received mine from the girl that sat in front of my in homeroom class. She was a Mexican girl, not at all attractive and she knew it. Her valentine was hand made and very well drawn, this girl was an excellent artist. It was of a well developed naked girl, half turned frontal view, with a sack over her head. Below was the caption, "We are all the same with a sack over our heads". I had received my first pornographic image. I wonder if that gal every got what she was looking for? It was the time I got my first public erection and IT embarrassed me to think other could see the lump in my pants. I cannot count the "First Kiss:" story in my memoir, http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~chtank/hatched.html, as having any effect on my sexual outlook other than I became quite shy and cautious around girls after that. The teasing I received did have a damping effect on my romantic outlook. I liked them but only for what they could contribute to the games like baseball. They were not much good at football, except for one. Shortly after the stripper girl friend, I found an new girl friend, 14 years old, trim and athletic, with dark hair and eyes. She was very attractive. At this time, I as 14 by then, a group of us would get together to play touch football, two hands below the waist. This little Texas beauty would always play halfback on the other team and would always try to carry the ball through my position. She was good, and as she would cut to go by me, I would grab her leg and hold her until I could get my other hand around to touch her down. Invariable I would wind up on top of her. This went of for about two months until just before her family moved away. It was now after World War II, and her father, an army officer, was being discharged from the service and had to report to his civilian job in another state. Just before they left, while her parents were gone, she invited me into her home, offered me a drink of whiskey and a conversation in her bedroom. I declined the invitation, a little frightened by the suggestion. What would the Priest say when I went to confession? A couple days later, they moved away. One July 14, 1947, we moved from Kelly Homes in San Antonio, Texas, to our new home in Kensington, Maryland, right outside of Washington DC. While we waited for our house to be completed, we lived in an old farm house on a 110 acre farm outside of town. I guess that was where I matured into a sexual male. I would dream of those two girls and what might have been. Again, I was just 14 but now sexually awake. With my sexual awareness in hand and starting into the 8th grade at Kensington Junior High School, I have vivid memories of my feelings back then. I know what we boys talked about in the locker room, about both the girls and the attractive teachers. We may have been minors, but we were fully ready to take the chance if we could arrange it and not get caught. At least we could dream about "it" and had good imaginations. I am quite sure that today's younger and more attractive teachers today are very hard pressed to keep their wits about them when today's teen boys or girls get aroused and attempt to seduce them. Yes, they do that today more than ever, how else can we account for the huge number of teen pregnancies. I hear reports that at least one quarter of the kids leave Middle School sexually active. In High School, the number jumps to 50%. Too bad that we put all the blame on the adult when it is clear that the male and female, are just as much to blame. But, too, mommy's and daddy's little angels can never share blame, right? Back in the 40's and 50's, it was often that the girls either had back room abortions or were forced into a loveless marriage. This may account for the 50% failed marriage rate that soon developed. I know for a fact that activity on the Internet is huge. I began on Internet with e-mail, Instant messaging, and Internet Relay Chat back in 1992. Not a day goes by that I don't receive some sort of sexual advance through those sources. The e-mail is loaded with spam trying to sell me Viagra or some drug to make me longer and bigger around or to invite me to go to some sexually explicit web site. I have stopped using IM altogether because of all the sex offers sent. As an IRC Network Administrator, I am able to effectively control any offers of sex, male or female, and I can get rid of those who are abusive to our clients, too. But, if receiving sexually explicit material on the Internet is a crime, then 99% of us are criminals, for it is sent to us daily without our consent. The only thing we can do is mark it as spam and delete it form our machines. Keep in mind, though, deleting does not always purge and it can be found there if one knows how to look for it. to be continued Continued with BACHELOR LIFE: My life on my own as a bachelor from entering the army until I married in December, 1965.Return to the Table of Content |