New Begining

MEETING MY ETERNAL COMPANION

by Charla R. Hanks

After five long months of marriage to a man who only wanted my meager property and a mother for his young, confused boys, I was left to deal with my illness alone. A chronic, potentially terminal illness that we discovered just two months before he left.

I knew that I had to get on with my life and decided that as long as my family was together I could face all of the challenges life gave me and resolved to do it as a single mom.

I also knew that I would need the support of friends and loved ones, but didn't want them to worry. So one day I sat at my computer and logged on to a web site called LDS Friends World Wide. There I e-mailed many people, both men & women, but only the men replied. When choosing who to contact, I chose men from very distant locations to discourage attempts at meeting someone who might want to get serious. I had too much on my plate to get involved and just wanted to communicate with those who have the same values as myself, but only needed or wanted a few annonomous friends to share with. I tried to make it clear that I only wanted to friends and made it clear that I was still married and didn't think I'd be single until January...as it happened, the divorce didn't become final until March 19, 1998, even though I was served with papers at the beginning of October. To top it off, I had to finish that too.

One day a friend of mine called and told me about two profiles by two different men, one in Hawaii, the other in England. I had a lot in common with both men and struck up great friendships with both around the middle of October. We discussed many things, but mostly Gospel related topics and some of the antics of children and/or grandchildren when, out of the blue, around the middle of December, the one from England proposed to me. We decided that he was just teasing because we lived too far apart to get serious. Besides, I was still married.

I was having a great time meeting people on-line and getting to know my computer as well as making friends. We scanned and exchanged photos over the internet and I made and kept files on a few.

As time went on, Mark proposed to me again. This was on December 26, 1998. This is when we became tentatively engaged. I thought he was still just kidding although he said that he was serious. He wanted to come to the states and meet me and if we both cared enough about each other, we could get married in the Portland Temple.

I prayed about it several times alone in my room and did not get a possitive response. Then one evening during family prayer, I prayed ...."please help us make the right decisions in our lives." And all of a sudden I heard in my mind 'Mark is a good man.' I wasn't told to marry him, just that he was a good man and for a few minutes I couldn't say anything else. I'm not sure if that was because I was listening or stunned to have that pop into my mind. I did eventually finish the prayer.

I continued to write to all my e-pals and also started checking Mark out. I talked with our bishop at the time, Bishop Harry Bos who also did some checking. I got the name and phone number of Mark's church leaders and called his branch president, President Terry Hope, who couldn't say anything but good about Mark. I figured that either Mark was a good person, or they wanted him out of Worksop, Nottinghamshire, England where he was living. I also contacted Mark's mother, Margaret Ann Gwilliam (ne Allen) by phone and we also exchanged a few letters.

Mark made arrangements to sell nearly everything he owned and stored the rest at his sister's. He definitely had more faith than I did that we would like eachother and we did like each other. My youngest three sons, who were still living with me, and I met Mark's plane in Seattle on March 16, 1999, just three days before my divorce was final.

I must say that, at least for me, it wasn't love at first sight, though Mark says it was for him. At one point in the beginning of our relationship I had decided not to marry him. Needless to say, we had many things to work out and discuss and his mother gave both of us much advice that helped us.

We were married on a rainy 5 November, 1999 and though we still have a conflict now and them, are the happiest we have ever been. Mark should never forget our anniversary, as it is his late grandmother's birthday, as well as Guy Falks night in England.